Speaker 1: 0:00

This episode is called Decision Time, so we're going to talk about what it looks like to make decisions for us. I mean, from the decisions that every married couple has to deal with seemingly every day of what do you want to have for dinner? And somebody says, what do you want to have for dinner, we're stuck in this loop down to the crazy and most important decisions of is it time to move, is it time to leave a job, maybe move a child out of a particular school system, or not. So we're going to talk a little bit about decision time today and, but before we get there, hello, hello and welcome back to Conversations at the Well. After a week and a half I mean not a week and a half of time, but it seems like it's felt like a week and a half we have made it back to the table to have yet another conversation about Conversations at the Well. How has your week been going so far?

Speaker 1: 0:46

oh my goodness how do I answer that question?

Speaker 2: 0:50

okay, this is how I would describe this week. Okay, I'm interested to see what you would say okay, so this was the week that if we were to write a bi autobiography autobiography about yeah. This week would be in it Like it was a game changing week. It's been a.

Speaker 1: 1:07

it's been a it's been a crazy week, but before we get into that, we want to talk to you a little bit about what this episode is going to be about. This episode is called decision time, so we're going to talk about what it looks like to make decisions for us. I mean, from the decisions that every married couple has to deal with seemingly every day of what do you want to have for dinner. And you know, somebody says, what do you want to have for dinner. We're stuck in this loop down to the crazy and most important decisions of is it time to move, is it time to leave a job, maybe move a child out of a particular school system, or not. So we're going to talk a little bit about decision time today and, but before we get there, tell us about this crazy week, what you got going on this week.

Speaker 2: 1:45

Oh, my goodness. Okay, so on Mother's Day, that was this past Sunday.

Speaker 1: 1:53

This past Sunday by the time they get it.

Speaker 2: 1:55

It'll probably be way in the past, but anyway, yeah but it was Mother's Day, 2024 for context, for whenever you are listening to this um we, it started off an ordinary day okay, there were children, there were cards, there was everybody getting getting everybody up.

Speaker 2: 2:13

Um, yeah, it was a celebration. I got my cards, all my I love my little homemade things that my kids made that's. I don't know, anyway, maybe the moms out there get that, but I got gifted with all of these little things and I was feeling celebrated and we went on the church. We were looking all cute because I told everybody to put on a collared shirt. All my boys, all my guys, put on a collared shirt and I wore my little white outfit. Anyway, all of this stuff is irrelevant to the week itself, but we go in to church and you all don't know this, but we are members at a church here and actually that's one of the reasons we moved to the area, because we knew that God was leading us to help grow this ministry.

Speaker 2: 3:05

And this week we found out how much he wanted us to grow this ministry because at the end of service pastor called a meeting and announced, unbeknownst to us, that Vernon, who is a pastor, he will be.

Speaker 1: 3:23

We've done a horrible job.

Speaker 2: 3:25

I'm a pastor elder in our church, but go ahead and he announced that he was taking a leave of absence and, in the interim, he was recommending Vernon to lead the church for the time period that he'll be out. And so, sudden, unexpected, unexpected game changing again. When we write our autobiography at some point this week, we'll be in it. And so that was actually the beginning of the week, and then there were several other things that happened this week that were pretty crazy as well, but I think that topped, topped it.

Speaker 2: 4:15

And so on mother's day I became a mother of the church and yeah, we've been rolling trying to plan and and and figure out things and keep things moving and trying to, you know, answer questions in the midst of the uncertainty. So it's been quite a doozy of a week. Yeah, absolutely. How was it for?

Speaker 1: 4:36

you. For me it was about the same it's, but, but I think how I process things a little bit differently is my, my um comfortable place or safe place is in. All right, let's move forward, let's fix it so emotions, surprise, all of those things. Rearview mirror what do we need to do now um and?

Speaker 1: 4:57

so that's stuff up front. Yeah, right, so that's kind of immediately where I go. So I don't even know if I've had or taken the time to process or think or feel about it. It's just more. So how do we continue the progress that we've been making in the church and how do we continue to provide people with the things necessary for them to grow their faith and continue moving forward in their relationship with God? So I assume eventually I'll take some time to figure out how I feel about it, but for right now, kind of in full, all right, how do we stabilize and move forward and continue going down this path?

Speaker 2: 5:29

Yeah, that's probably why he puts you in charge, because you have that mentality of OK, all right, I got, I got. You know, you threw the keys, I'm catching it, let's go.

Speaker 1: 5:40

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 5:41

So that is, I think, a mark of a true leader. Um, not to say that you can't be a leader if you're, if you don't have that. Sometimes people do know process, like myself, but but I do. I really admire that trait in you to just kind of pick up and let's keep things moving.

Speaker 2: 6:00

And again, the stabilization of yeah of of the church body, who were all surprised by this announcement and this shift, this transition. But yeah, I think that was probably the best way to handle it, as opposed to be a deer in the headlights.

Speaker 1: 6:18

Yeah, I mean at the end of the day, ministry doesn't stop.

Speaker 1: 6:21

And there's probably even more of a need for ministry now than perhaps before that day, if you know, just to let people know that they're still cared for, everything's still in place for them, they have the support they need. I think there is a jarring moment where, you know, I didn't ask for Elder Brown to be my leader. I chose and I decided for our pastor, our senior pastor. So I think there's some stabilization, some conversation that need to take place, but certainly just ensuring that you just continue to serve the best way you can throughout the transition. But I think that's an awesome segue into our topic today of decision-making. At some point, decisions need to be made. At some point I have to decide, or had to decide, whether it was something I wanted, something that I desired or something I was even open to taking the responsibility of.

Speaker 1: 7:10

And I think decision making is something that, whether we look at it as that or not, happens multiple times a day, every day, like I said, from the smallest thing of what am I going to wear today to the biggest topic of do I have what it takes? Do I believe that God wants me to lead a church? Do I going to wear today? To the biggest topic of do I have what it takes? Do I believe that God wants me to lead a church? Do I want to move? Do I want to stay in my current job? And so I wanted to kind of open up with that questioning and I know I kind of tossed it on you, so I'll give you some time to think about your answer but how do you go about making those major decisions?

Speaker 1: 7:41

I know for me in this instance there was a question hey, I need to step down, obviously, said in front of the church, and are you willing to accept the responsibility to move forward? And I think in this particular situation it was an easy decision for me at least One, because I felt like God had been preparing me for it for some time. I've had I don't know about you guys, but I've had what some would say hunches, or God spoke to me and said you need to start preparing or thinking about these things, and I put them off because I don't listen on the first try all the time. And then, as early as a few weeks ago, I convicted about it where I was listening to another pastor and I was like, oh God definitely told me to do that.

Speaker 1: 8:27

And I had not done it yet. So I put some pen to paper and started working on it and then this happened. So for me it's not you know, when you think about making your decision, or when people say God told me to do this. I mean, in some cases, you know, maybe God audibly tells them, but at least for me it kind of works like like this in this situation, where situation circumstances line up and then, as life and time progresses, it kind of confirms it. So you know, if you would think that you have a strong urge, that you need to start coming up and preparing yourself mentally for something like this, and then something like this happens, for that I was like I see what you did there, god. I got you, I got loud and clear and I'm I'm fine and prepared to move forward. But for you in your life, when you're dealing with difficult situations, what does that look like?

Speaker 2: 9:13

Yeah, um, you know, it's kind of interesting because I think what I describe as what happened with you, with just kind of that preparation, I like that was grace. I feel like that was god saying listen no, grace is a real church.

Speaker 2: 9:28

You were, it's a it's a okay um the, the real churchy answer is my merit at favor. But basically what that means is he he's showing his love towards you by, in this particular case, by giving you an inkling of answers before the question was even asked. Got it, got it. And so he was like listen, I know what's going on. I obviously, I can see, I know everything and I know you're not ready for this in this instance but I need you to get ready like ASAP.

Speaker 1: 10:08

TDJ.

Speaker 2: 10:08

she said get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready get ready, like I need you to get ready now, and so giving you that inkling, that inclination to say, oh okay, I know I've been needing to do this, let me go ahead and write these plans out and like within days yeah, literally within days.

Speaker 1: 10:27

Yeah, I think you wrote it. I think you sent me on the plane to Chicago.

Speaker 2: 10:29

Yeah, I think it was like a Tuesday and this happened the following Sunday, which is like that's a wild thing again. This will be in our autobiography at some point when we write it but, but, um, as far as how I make decisions, um, oh man, um, I think it's a couple of different ways. It depends on the, the, the enormity or the okay, like, how big is the, the decision? Okay, because, um, what we eat for dinner, kind of is like well, let's talk about that.

Speaker 1: 11:00

What do you want to eat for dinner?

Speaker 2: 11:01

um, I never know what I want. I'm glad you're honest, because I would have called you out so quick. Well, who knows? I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1: 11:08

If you would have came up here and been like well, how I make decisions for dinner is I meal prep three months? No, she don't. Oh well, here's the thing.

Speaker 2: 11:16

Here's the thing, because actually that actually helps me, because how do I think about what I want for dinner? I'm like, okay, well, who needs to eat? Because if it's just me, I might choose one thing that I like. I like more of just leaves me to starve. No, I like more like, uh, ethnic foods with different flavors, from different cultures. Like I love indian food, I love caribbean and all of that kind of stuff, but that's not what you like. So what do I like?

Speaker 1: 11:45

not that, okay, you like, I don't know, I wouldn't hear what you're gonna say I feel like she's gonna say you like basic stuff?

Speaker 2: 11:54

yeah, like actually yes, because you, when I ask you about things that you like, yeah, can we have some like um grilled cheese tomato soup, or let's do um, what's the thing you like with the applesauce?

Speaker 1: 12:10

applesauce. Yeah, let's hope it's like it's like an applesauce right y'all like.

Speaker 2: 12:19

this is stuff that I feed to the children, and this grown man is not asking for a steak and potatoes. He's asking for pigs in a blanket with some applesauce. And I'm like I'm so perplexed at this point in time After you done, had all of this foo-foo stuff.

Speaker 1: 12:33

Sometimes it's good to get you a little pig in a blanket, some applesauce or some beans and franks, or get you some. Let me tell y'all something get you a piece of that round bologna with a little stuff on the outside.

Speaker 2: 12:45

And you take the little stuff. Fry that sucker up, cut it in half, or cut it down the line a little bit. So would y'all say this is basic or is this the delicacy? These are the delicacies of culture.

Speaker 1: 12:58

Right here you get you a toasted piece of bread. Slap that fried bologna on there Some mustard.

Speaker 2: 13:05

Okay, yeah, all of that.

Speaker 1: 13:07

This Atlanta bougie over here, I'm real Atlanta bougie.

Speaker 2: 13:10

Maybe I'll be that because I am like I don't want, don't get me no pork and beans, like I'm good.

Speaker 1: 13:18

But let me tell you before we move on I will eat it though I'll say let me tell you before we move on. She'll go in the fridge and say ain't nothing in there? I say, let me, let me see what. I can find in here and I'll go get some remnants and fry up something and she will oh, this is real good, this is real good. Um so it's in there somewhere.

Speaker 2: 13:40

It's just below all of this it's not my first thought or my first preference, but anyways again decision making.

Speaker 1: 13:46

Decision making who does?

Speaker 2: 13:48

this decision impact this case, the food decision is food everybody.

Speaker 2: 13:53

Yeah, so like if it's a family dinner yeah so then I have to consider things, because I know my kids don't like this and my husband doesn't like that, so then I'm left with the options that they all like and we can all agree on. Now, if it was just me, I wouldn't be eating any of the stuff that we probably eat at dinner, because I prefer other foods. And then I think right now not right now I've adopted a different diet just because of some health things I had going on.

Speaker 2: 14:24

And so adopting that different diet. It does kind of condense the choices that I can have.

Speaker 1: 14:34

That was real vague what you eating.

Speaker 2: 14:36

So, all right, gluten-free, All right. I don't have celiac, but I do. What's celiac? It's a disease People actually have like a actual app. It's not kind of like an allergy or not really an allergy, but they have real reaction to eating where?

Speaker 2: 14:52

here is it just a personal choice it is, although I do think my I might have some sensitivity because my digestive system has definitely improved since I've cut so much of the gluten products out of my diet, and even if it slips up every once in a while, I don't get sick from it, but I do. Anyway, there's other things.

Speaker 1: 15:14

You were like my dietary needs. I was like what dietary needs? I had no idea. Because of those things that kind of goes into your thinking about what you eat.

Speaker 2: 15:23

Who does it affect? What are the considerations of others? And all that? I always consider you. I don't think you know that. I always consider you. I always consider the kids and what the decisions are going to be, especially with the big ones. So are we going to move? That was a huge decision that we had to make two years ago and boy, there were so many factors that went into that one and that was moving from Atlanta to Canton To Mississippi.

Speaker 2: 15:51

Yeah, so actually one of my first. When I first felt that strong, knowing that we were going to be moving, my first thought is what about my parents?

Speaker 1: 16:03

So's pause for a minute. So we're talking about decision making. Yeah, now, this was a. There are some decisions we make in which is like, hey, I want to do something. How do I decide whether I want to do it or not? But, that's not this that was this is kind of we're living our life to do, having a great time, yeah.

Speaker 2: 16:19

And then something pulls on the inside of you that piques your interest, to say we may need to make do something different that same thing that made you write out your plan is the same thing that said you need to start looking for homes in mississippi got it.

Speaker 1: 16:34

So your decision making in this instance isn't do I move or not, per se. It's more of do I trust and believe in this inner knowing or voice enough to be obedient to it or to?

Speaker 2: 16:48

do something different, would you?

Speaker 1: 16:49

agree with that.

Speaker 2: 16:50

Yes.

Speaker 2: 16:51

Because, there was a choice of, yes, there was a choice of even though and this voice, I believe, is God. So, god, okay, I hear what you're saying, but you're also saying what the implications of this are. We will leave my hometown, we'll be leaving behind my parents. We don't. We need a house or a place to be. We need schools for the kids. Like all of the implications. Like I had a, I knew that God would protect us. Like, if God was moving us, I knew I wasn't worried about our family per se, because I knew that if we were walking in what he's asking us to do, then there will be protections and provisions made, but I didn't know what those things were going to be.

Speaker 2: 17:39

I didn't know how I was going to identify those things when they came, all of that stuff. And so I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed, and I asked God for signs. I got signs y'all Like. That doesn't always happen, but I got signs actually asking and confirming that this is what he wanted us to do.

Speaker 1: 18:01

So give us kind of a timeline. So for you and the reason I'm asking these questions, one is to guide the conversation, but two because we've talked about it at large, obviously, but a lot of the details and points that led us to make the decisions.

Speaker 1: 18:15

I don't know that we've ever really sat down and kind of dove in, I think from my perspective I was kind of looking for are we on the same page about it, but not necessarily how you got on the same page. This is kind of for me too. So yeah, um, I would say for me it was about the anniversary, which I think is November, right yeah where that kind of tugging kind of started for me and I was like, oh, I'm not gonna bring this up to her so god you gonna have to do something and something for you.

Speaker 1: 18:43

from a time perspective, when did you kind of get that first?

Speaker 2: 18:46

Yeah, I guess I started. Well, I started recognizing your gift for teaching the word teaching, preaching to be less churchy.

Speaker 2: 18:58

I started recognizing that gift and I was like, ok, what are we doing? Where is this going? And then the church anniversary in November of that year whatever year, that was 2021, or so I was we were here and I was sitting in your parents' living room in Mississippi and I just had like I can't even describe it. It was just like this, you need to start looking for homes. And I was like, okay, let me. I had to test it out because I was like, am I, you know, did I eat something bad? Or like, what's going on, like it.

Speaker 2: 19:41

But it was a very strange knowing and I've had that knowing a few times in life. I knew about you when we started dating, like I knew I had a knowing about you too, that you would be my husband. So that's a whole story for a whole different day. But this story, um, I had the knowing and we were in, we were after that happened. We were like in the car driving around or whatever, and I was like we've had this conversation of what you moved to mississippi before and we're like no jokes on you, like no, like why would we leave atlanta, come to miss? Questions that need answers. But this time, when I asked you about it, you said you know, I don't remember what you said exactly, but you just didn't like the door wasn't shut.

Speaker 2: 20:27

The door was open and I said, oh Lord, oh, this is happening, huh. So that was actually very confirming to me.

Speaker 1: 20:35

Oh, this is happening, huh. So that was actually very confirming to me, which was probably before I got a feeling or notion about it, I think, because I know for me I had been teaching at the church remotely for two years, so the teaching thing wasn't any different, but it was the first time being in front of people at a podium, like delivering it in that way, and that felt really, really weird.

Speaker 1: 20:58

And I think over the days and weeks thereafter, probably days thereafter, just kind of like digging into that weird feeling is what kind of got me there Consciously?

Speaker 2: 21:09

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 21:09

Whereas but it sounds like unconsciously and already made a shift which I didn't even notice. I don't think.

Speaker 2: 21:13

Yeah Well you did. They had already made a shift which I didn't even notice. I don't think, yeah well you did. And I was like oh man, I guess we better start packing. Because I also thought that you had thought about it more, because typically, when it comes to decisions in our family, you, by the time it gets to me, you've already made this decision. No, Like you just are like oh, let me like, let her in.

Speaker 1: 21:33

No, not I, yeah you.

Speaker 2: 21:38

And let me like, let her in, no, not I, yeah you. And so I was like, uh-oh, this is already happening, like he already knows, but this is clarifying that you didn't know at that time, oh, but it was happening yeah and um, yeah, so that once that happened, I still ward with this thing and this is, this is like over that.

Speaker 2: 21:52

That happened in early november, and so I mean about, um, oh, probably over a month. I'm like praying, I'm asking for signs, I'm asking for confirmation, I'm asking for all of this stuff. And I had a similar experience where I kept getting the same message write the vision, make a plan, write the vision, make a plan, write the vision. Like everywhere I went, every like stuff that wouldn't even church would be, like vision boards, like what is going on. Okay, let me go ahead and write this vision out. And I started writing the vision and this time I did it a little differently.

Speaker 2: 22:24

Usually I'll just like, oh, what do I want? I start writing out my stuff and then, but this time I said, god, what is it that you want? And so as I'm writing and these thoughts come to mind, I was like, oh, this is really not what I had in mind. Well, very much that was like illuminated, was like you're going to canton, canton, specifically, canton, mississippi. It was not. It wasn't jackson, it wasn't meridian, it wasn't yet madison, it was canton, mississippi, specifically, and it just like it was.

Speaker 1: 23:01

It was so clear, I was like okay, I still need confirmation it was so clear, but I need a confirmation right, so that this, this is me in denial, me like not wanting to do it, but also knowing that I think wanting to be obedient, not wanting to do it, but also knowing that I think wanting to be obedient, not wanting to do it. So knowing that if I do this, I don't know it's not me, like it got to be you, and I have to be sure that it's yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:24

Yeah, I did not want any mistakes on this Cause this is a whole lot to change and shift in order to get there. So that happened in the sign. This is the sign.

Speaker 1: 23:34

That's what I want to get to.

Speaker 2: 23:34

So we were. I don't even know why I was there. Why was I there? I was at my parents' house, Okay.

Speaker 1: 23:44

I don't remember why. I don't know what you're about to say. I hope you're not looking at me for help.

Speaker 2: 23:47

Well, I was thinking about it because I stayed over.

Speaker 1: 24:00

Oh, I think you gave me like a mommy vacation. Oh, I do remember that.

Speaker 2: 24:00

Yeah, because you was real stressed out, probably about this, probably moving, yeah yeah, and I was like, just because they were out of town, yeah, my parents were out, so you spent a day there and I just had the kids at the house with me. Yeah, so I had a mommy vacation. See, that's the kind of husband I have. He's amazing. I had a mommy vacation at my parents house, so it was a staycation. But, um, I, I like to walk, I like to run, and so I was doing that like I used to when I lived at my parents' house and I was walking through the neighborhood and I was like, god, just, I need you to confirm this. I need you to confirm this, and I already had this.

Speaker 2: 24:26

I told y'all in 2016,. I got the vision for the well. That happened and in the vision that I asked God to give me, his vision, the well was in that vision. I was like, all right, okay. And then I said, god, I need more confirmation. I need you to really like make this thing real plain for me. I'm walking their neighborhood. I've walked this neighborhood hundreds of times.

Speaker 1: 24:49

Because y'all have lived there forever.

Speaker 2: 24:51

Yeah, we moved there when I was like five or six, when you were a baby, yeah, so I'm like well above five or six now, and so I've walked the neighborhood many times. That was my route, and I saw something I'd never seen ever, ever, ever before in all of my walks in that time. Was it a peacock? It was literally a whale, literally a well now now you live in the country where does a whale just spring?

Speaker 2: 25:23

up out like that just doesn't happen, right. So this well was in the front yard and I have a picture. I promise y'all I took a picture because I was like this is unbelievable. If I don't take a picture, nobody's gonna believe this sticks no, it's a subdivision. It's a subdivision and this, well, had just just was in this, these neighbors yard and I was like, oh, my, okay, lord, okay, that that for me, I think that was my.

Speaker 1: 25:46

I was like, oh, this is happening which I think just to take a pause. There's like so important because I think everyone, in one phase of life or another, is looking for confirmation of something looking for, what is my purpose, what is my goal? All of these things, and I think when you're looking for these things, you never have to second guess whether God can give you what you need when you need it.

Speaker 2: 26:09

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 26:10

Because if I was walking with I wasn't there. If I was walking with her and I saw a, well I'll probably be like that's a weird design choice and keep moving, but that meant enough to her to give her the confirmation she needed for the question she was asking. If I saw it, it would mean zero to nothing for me. So I think for everyone who's looking for a sign or looking for a wonder, it's not about hey, did I miss it? If you ask God for a sign, wonder, anything, confirmation, he will give it to you in a way in which you will not second guess Now you may say I saw it, but I just want to make double sure and he may give you something different, but I don't think it's something that there's a chance for you to miss when you're looking for confirmation and you're specifically looking for confirmation from him.

Speaker 2: 26:51

Yeah, I was kind of laughing to myself because, I'm going tell you, the story got stranger okay because okay. So I saw it that day. I remember I sent you the picture. I was like baby won't believe this. Look at this boom took the picture what did I say?

Speaker 2: 27:02

I'm sure I said you were like oh, that's oh, wow anyway. So I saw that and I was like oh, my gosh, confirmation, all right, um, but then from there. So that was the first well that I saw. And then, um, from there, I just kept seeing them. They just kept popping like y'all on my regular routes.

Speaker 1: 27:24

That I take every single day and stuff yeah it.

Speaker 2: 27:27

It wasn't well, I don't remember bumper sticker, but there was literally. There was a house by our old house, at that corner and in the in the um summer months you can't see it because the trees have grown up around it you can't see it very well, but they have a well in their yard. So it was november, december time frame and so the leaves had fallen and they put christmas lights on that. Well, make sure that I saw that. Well, and I saw another one and I said, oh my gosh, like it just I keep seeing wells everywhere. Like who just has wells? Like this is not a common thing in 2020, whatever year we were in um and so that happened. But the strangest part about this is, since that time, like I think, once we moved and we went back and I stayed at my parents house, did my walk again around the neighborhood, I went back to that same house. That well was not there anymore.

Speaker 2: 28:20

It is not there anymore someone made better design decisions they may have, but I took that as you got the sign when you needed it. Yeah, you don't. You already made the move. You don't need that sign anymore, like it was to me. Confirmation after the confirmation yeah, it was there. They didn't put it there for you.

Speaker 1: 28:41

That means somebody's husband was out there in November building a well for his wife, specifically for you.

Speaker 2: 28:48

I think it was because there was no water. It was one of those little things you put in your yard. I don't know if there's a way to like post it or something.

Speaker 1: 28:57

Somebody's husband was out there installing a well for his wife, just for you.

Speaker 2: 29:02

I mean.

Speaker 1: 29:03

And then she changed her mind and he had to go out there with a happy heart and remove it a month later.

Speaker 2: 29:07

Whatever happened, I was grateful for the sign, I was grateful for the confirmation and then I knew, in addition to other conversations that we had, I was like all right, because at this point we're talking about it, yeah, yeah, I can't, we can't, not. I mean we can not do it, but we're being like strongly urged to go.

Speaker 1: 29:27

So opportunity for a decision. Decision happened we both get a tugging separately. Yeah, we kind of don't know at that point that we're both getting a tugging. The next step was how do I make sure if we're talking about a big decision, how do I make sure that this is this is the right decision? Yeah and through that you went through a confirmation process yeah now, as we start to come together and dance around the idea of what do you think about?

Speaker 2: 29:52

this, how did?

Speaker 1: 29:53

that go surprisingly smooth.

Speaker 2: 29:56

Um, I think we're in a car right?

Speaker 1: 29:58

I think you asked me something in the car.

Speaker 2: 30:01

We were in the car. I was like what do you think about moving? Here, we were here, yeah and you were like well, you know, maybe we should start thinking about it.

Speaker 1: 30:11

Oh, here we go because at that point I'm like I'm like. I don't think I should bring this up Because there are a lot of real things. Like your parents are in Atlanta. Atlanta's not all you've ever known, because you were obviously much better or much, not weller, but you were very well traveled when we met.

Speaker 1: 30:28

Not so much for me, weller, you were weller traveled, as if you can't tell by my usage of words, you were well, or travel, but um, but from a home-based perspective, it's always been atlanta, yeah. And to then ask you to be like, hey, you want to come to canton to follow this? Yeah, I think it was interesting. So I, you know, when I had first got and I was like I'm not bringing it, you gotta do something.

Speaker 2: 30:56

I ain't bringing it up I ain't bringing it up.

Speaker 1: 30:58

This woman, she looked nice but I ain't bringing it up.

Speaker 2: 31:01

I think actually, I think that's a really wow, that's a really good point, because I didn't think of it from your perspective, like if you had, if you got it first and you had to bring it to me and say, hey, I'm about to uproot you from your the life that you know, yeah not for texas or dallas or austin or someplace we've talked about, yeah, but for something completely and not for a job.

Speaker 2: 31:25

Yeah, that was a question that so many people had. So, why are you moving? Your job brought you your or you know, like, still get that your job brought you. No, that was a whole other thing, yeah, um, so, yeah. So all of these things were were going on and and there were real implications like, okay, we're moving our, we're moving our away from my parents, we're moving our children away from that side of the family which had been like a mainstay for them at that point in life.

Speaker 1: 31:54

They still like honey or their grandparent better than me.

Speaker 2: 31:58

Honey's their favorite, honey's their favorite. Everyone knows, honey knows too, so that's my mom. But um, yeah, so it was.

Speaker 1: 32:09

It was that it was sounds like a long period of time, but this is really about two months between the yeah two months between us getting the inclination to making the decision. And so that's a two month period for like a huge decision. That we think is really fast. But I think some people are going to make decisions, huge decisions with implications, much quicker than that. But this is a process we kind of went through to get. Are you sure, you sure, you sure, you sure, you sure, you sure?

Speaker 2: 32:39

And here's my conversation with that Cause.

Speaker 2: 32:41

I do think like it's really about relationship, right, because that's how you get to know god's ways versus other voices, um, that's how you can kind of see and know when, when he's working and all of that.

Speaker 2: 32:53

But so my relationship with god is it's formal, but also informal at times, and so it was like lord, listen, like I think I actually said this Lord, listen, if you're asking me to do this, I need you to make sure that you lay everything out for us Like I'm talking, everything I'm talking. I need you to find us the house. I need you to find a schools for the kids. I need you to make sure that we can get back and forth to Atlanta if we need to. Like I need you to work out the job situations Like I need you to make sure that we can get back and forth to Atlanta if we need to. Like I need you to work out the job situations like I need you to do like the whole kit and caboodle like it needs to be. Can you please wrap this up nicely, because there's so much happening and, quite frankly, like I'll go, but I'm scared and my perspective was a lot different.

Speaker 1: 33:40

Like, my perspective was all right, our jobs are pretty much taken care of. We can, we can, we can work remotely. Um, she'll need. I think at that time you were going like you had a mandate to go into the office a certain number of times, and so we there's an airport there, so you can fly back and forth, yeah, um. And worst case scenario it doesn't work out, we just move back um after selling everything yeah, we sold everything once move back, okay, so.

Speaker 1: 34:11

So I I say that to say our reasoning through the process was a little bit different, like yeah, to me.

Speaker 2: 34:16

I was like schools.

Speaker 1: 34:18

We'll find schools like. There's schools everywhere yeah we'll find school just to kind of show the difference in perspective. Yeah, so we get to the. We get through the two-month period of deciding. Now what happens after the decision is made.

Speaker 2: 34:32

Well, there were several other decisions that had to be made. So there was the finding a place to stay Right. So, like do we rent? Do we buy? If we rent, rent, at least we'll be able to try out the area, see if we like it, before we go and buy a house. Yeah, we didn't do that. We. I guess we were kind of like we've been renters, we've also been homeowners and we really don't want to go back to renting, so we opted to purchase a home and I don't even know if it's go back to renting as much as it is to you know.

Speaker 2: 35:03

Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1: 35:04

It better fits our lifestyle. It better fits our goals, yeah that's true, that's true.

Speaker 2: 35:09

And so there was that, and I remember we talked about okay, what kind of house would you want? We were very specific, we prayed about that thing.

Speaker 1: 35:20

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 35:20

And we asked for very specific features.

Speaker 1: 35:24

Probably should have, and more specific. Yeah, man, there's some things I wish I would have considered three garages three garages um, because we had a two-car garage and it always seemed like if you're working on a car like you, just wanted another one. Just to have another one um four bedrooms, right, or did we say at least at least four at least four bedrooms.

Speaker 1: 35:44

Um, I wanted some water because I never had that experience before, like having water in the backyard. I thought that would be cool, that was kind of that. You know, let's just throw it in there just to see what happens. But I don't really expect it because I never lived on a pond or a lake or anything and specifically that we could see from the bedroom.

Speaker 2: 35:59

That was, that was my list, that was on your list.

Speaker 1: 36:02

No, we talked about that, but anyway I just want to water, but I I didn't think it was going to happen. It was just kind of a hail mary for me yeah go ahead.

Speaker 2: 36:12

No finish the list, but I will add um, I think that was it. Oh, that was on my list we needed to have a dining room that was big enough to fit our dining table that was huge, because we had just bought a dining room table that was big and expensive yeah, we were like we ain't throwing that away. It's going with us. It will go with us to all the houses.

Speaker 1: 36:31

You came to our house and there's like a dining room in the family room. You know what happened, so we had to make do yeah.

Speaker 2: 36:37

So I mean I think that kind of dictated square footage, all that. But but there was also I asked God, what house do you want for us? And it aligned with all of those things. But also I saw a vision of a white house and it was a single-story home. So when we started looking for homes, there were all these multi-level homes that we looked at.

Speaker 2: 37:02

And we put in an offer on two of those and they were also not in canton, which god had told me. Another one was in the neighborhood. Oh yeah, yeah, one was yeah, but it wasn't white. No, it wasn't, so I should have known, because I again got those those things. So, y'all, now we live in a long story short, we live in a white ranch style home three.

Speaker 1: 37:25

We have three garages two on the front of the house for cars, one on like the side of the house. It was originally for a golf cart, but yeah, it's a golf cart garage.

Speaker 2: 37:35

I should have been it's three garages. It's just that three car right, garages right. Yeah, like god was laughing, I got something for that right, right, it has space and that was the dining room. Was big enough for our dining table um, we have the water.

Speaker 1: 37:51

There's a pot, there's a the golf course water in the back in the backyard, which is awesome off the bedroom which was, I mean, oddly specific. The things we asked for were oddly specific and everything we asked for we got and got through in a little extra and then even going down that path further when you your prior request of taking care of everything.

Speaker 1: 38:10

The process, when we got to the right place was so smooth yeah, I mean so smooth. Even. Even the issues that were brought up were things like hey, we were planning on installing new windows, but they won't be here by the time the house is um, by the time. You know, we sign all the papers, do you mind? If we still do the installation? Go go ahead like the nicest couple ever right?

Speaker 2: 38:34

no, oh, thank you so much. That's so kind of you and it was so kind of them one call.

Speaker 1: 38:39

we didn't expect, which is still not even a problem, like they call. They were like hey, um, after contract was signed, we forgot to put one thing in there and we're like, oh my gosh, what's about to come up? Um, the Tesla charger. Can we take that with us? Sure, we ain't got no Tesla. Take it Right.

Speaker 2: 38:54

Although I was planning for that Tesla charger, but I don't have a Tesla, so there's that. But when we get one, we'll just install a new charger. But yeah, I mean all of that and I mean, okay, it was an off-market home. Like there's no way that I want to tell y'all god was all up in this thing like making ways where there really, like literally wasn't, there wasn't even a path, like which is things are starting to appear, because we were trusting him and he was like all right, I got you you all the things you're asking for.

Speaker 2: 39:27

Like I got you covered. The school situation worked out perfectly, like everything was good. Um yeah, so that was the beginning of this part of the journey um, which, which, which, I want to.

Speaker 1: 39:42

I want to talk about one other big decision, um, but I want to put a bow on this first. So so, from that big decisions perspective, it was created not of our own. We were kind of thrown into the situation and so, or it was kind of brought to us, so then we spent two months deciding and then from there, three months planning to move and actually executing it.

Speaker 2: 40:06

We planned.

Speaker 1: 40:07

No, it wasn't our plan, because we planned to move in like May or June, that's true, when we initially put down the schedule, it was like, okay, we're going to look for a house for the next three months and then we'll move in May or June. But we were here in March.

Speaker 2: 40:20

Yeah Well, we signed the papers in April.

Speaker 1: 40:24

April, april, so shortly after that. So our time was moved up, all confirmation, all kind of pointing to we were supposed to be here. But one other thing I want to talk about is how did we find and get this place, cause we're sitting in the well.

Speaker 2: 40:40

Yeah, and so we move here.

Speaker 1: 40:42

And then, how long after we move did we find this place?

Speaker 2: 40:45

okay, so when? To back it up, when we were looking for homes, we also looked at a few commercial properties, because we knew that the well was supposed to be part of what we were supposed to do here and when you say commercial properties, you mean like commercial downstairs and living space upstairs.

Speaker 1: 41:00

That what you're talking about, or you're talking about.

Speaker 2: 41:02

Well, there were just a few things on the on the market, so I mean, we we did look at at least one. It was beautiful. Oh man, that place is so pretty.

Speaker 1: 41:12

It was not feasible for our life.

Speaker 2: 41:14

It was a two bedroom, yeah, apartment above a commercial retail space, but I mean, we got it, just wasn't going to work for us, us. So we tried to make it work for us, but and it was way more out of our way, out of our price range too. So, anyway, all that to say, we, I lost my train of thought we were looking for commercial properties.

Speaker 1: 41:38

Yeah, um, because we knew that was a part of the reason why we're supposed to be down here and just, you know, just perusing, not like searching window shopping window shopping and a few popped up and a few we kind of looked at, got a realtor and was like this is way a little bit too much work for us. We can't see how it's going to work.

Speaker 2: 41:53

But or too small?

Speaker 1: 41:54

yeah, that was us kind of taking it into our own hands to say okay, where's this place, where's this place, where's this place, yeah, I think we cooled on the search for a while and then searching.

Speaker 2: 42:03

Yeah, really, we were like not actively searching, we were like I guess open, but we were not looking kind of like how people are when they find their their life partner right right not looking, but I'm open.

Speaker 1: 42:17

That happened anyway, that happened you crack yourself up, don't you? All these people watching and you the only one laughing?

Speaker 2: 42:26

somebody's laughing, somebody thinks it's funny. So yeah, so we were not looking. And one of our church members actually. I mean, apparently this church is where we yeah, I didn't even think about it.

Speaker 2: 42:42

One of our church members had a thrift shop and was like. I talked to my mother-in-law and said, oh, so-and-so is trying to sell his building, do you know anybody who's looking? And she's like, oh well, vernon and Desi are like they've been kind of looking at places. I'll have them go by Vernon's out of town. She tells me this yeah, and I was like, all right, let's go down there. So I come down. And it was closed.

Speaker 2: 43:15

The guy who owned it was not here and I looked in the windows. I was like, oh okay, all right, it was a lot going on in here, though you could tell it needed a lot of work. But I called him and said you know, when you get back, let's go down there. Long story short, we came. I don't ever make long stories short, I'll try to make it short. We came, we met with the guy. He showed us around this place. I walked in and I and I immediately again that knowing I had an immediate knowing that this was the place and I had a knowing, too, that this was not the place at all and the reason why he didn't think it was the place was because it was full of random stuff.

Speaker 2: 44:00

It needed a lot of work. It was in a lot of. It needed a lot of work. It was in a lot of decay. There was a lot of stuff that just wasn't right and I was like, oh, it's perfect.

Speaker 1: 44:13

And I'm questioning the sanity of my wife Like, are we looking at the same place Now? Granted, we had done a few fixer-upper residential properties before, so I think that kind of opened our eye to the possibilities. But I'm looking and I'm just like this is what you want.

Speaker 2: 44:29

And, interestingly enough, I saw it and I was like that's it, that's the one, and the price that he named in that particular moment was the right price. Anyway, that's something else. Things changed but, um, we got it was off market again, although he had a realtor. We worked with her and um, once we got the pricing situated, because essentially one price was told, and then it he told us like a hundred thousand dollars more, and I was like well, we're out, we're not doing that.

Speaker 2: 45:05

And then cooler minds prevailed, yeah, and we came back brought it down back to where we wanted it to be, and then it came down even more because there were some additional issues that arose during the inspection yeah and all of that and so the waterfall like it was literally like water pouring in during the rain, and it rains a lot here, yeah, um, so it was. It was a lot.

Speaker 1: 45:29

We couldn't even get the financing that we wanted because it was in such disrepair and I, and every and every turn I was like this and this is the one babe, yeah, you sure yeah, oh, and here's the other part that we did we left out.

Speaker 2: 45:41

Um, when we left atlanta, we sold our house and we had. Did we have two houses at the time? No, we just had one sold one the previous year, um, and we sold our house. Mind you, we bought this house in 2019, right before the pandemic. We bought the house and when we sold the house, we made a lot, a lot of money.

Speaker 1: 46:10

Yeah we made. We have to do many repairs to it was just because that huge, yeah real estate inflation bubble we sold like right at the top of it yeah, in two years our equity, our, the value of our home, increased by 50 percent yeah which is humongous In two years.

Speaker 1: 46:25

Our equity, the value of our home, increased by 50%, which is humongous in two years, doing absolutely nothing to the property for improving it and that kind of drove a lot of our haste in buying a commercial property because we were like, yeah, well, it's cash and interest rates are low and heading upward. If we're going to buy something, we need to go ahead and do so. So we found this place, went through the negotiation process and then we ended up owning it and everything that came along with it.

Speaker 1: 46:51

I think that was a probably a less well, I don't know maybe a more dramatic decision-making process to go through that, because there were ups and downs and surprises and things like that. But throughout the entire process, you know when you decide decide.

Speaker 2: 47:05

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 47:06

And make sure you have a clear line of sight to what's going to be a deal breaker, because when he came back and the price had jumped $100,000, no, no, no, it's not what we agreed on.

Speaker 2: 47:16

Yeah, it's over. And I almost walked away, or wanted to, when we were negotiating the price after um finding out about the leaks and stuff yeah and he didn't want to come down to where we where the number I had in my mind and I was like maybe it's just. And it was thing after thing after thing and I was like maybe it's just, maybe just walk away, like yeah, um, but I don't even know what happened, but we pressed through.

Speaker 1: 47:41

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 47:42

Yeah, and here we are, conversations at the well.

Speaker 1: 47:47

So we wanted to spend today just kind of talking through decision time and what that looks like, at least for us.

Speaker 1: 47:54

It's not always that smooth.

Speaker 1: 47:56

Certainly it's not always that smooth, but I think in the bigger the decision, the more time we take in making sure that we have it right and making sure that we're unified on that.

Speaker 1: 48:05

A lot of times we have the benefit of, you know, her getting confirmation, me getting confirmation and then us coming together and be like wait a minute, we're on the same page. That's pretty awesome and, I think, a testament to us both kind of just really trying and striving to be moving together in the same direction. You'll probably hear about some stories as we go forward with Conversation to the Well where we're not on the same page and we kind of have to walk through how do we make these decisions when we're on different sides of the fence. But all in all, it's just you want to make the best decision with the information that you have and I think, throughout the most difficult decisions with the highest implications of moving away from family and things like that, I think that we've done a good job in staying unified on that. We've done a good job in making sure that everybody's kind of brought along and on the same page with it.

Speaker 1: 48:55

Even in instances where people aren't on the same page, like given the time necessary, the space necessary to process, to find out and then let time show the fruit of it being the right decision. And part of that is this and what we've been able to build in the season that we're walking into. We'd really love to hear about some of your decisions that you're making, maybe even right now so drop those in the comments decisions that you're making, decisions that you've made, and what your process looks like and how you kind of reason through those different things because I think there's a lot to learn and there's no one way to make a decision.

Speaker 2: 49:30

Yeah, and if you are in the middle of a decision and you or maybe you've made a decision and it's not looking exactly the way that you thought it would look, I just want to encourage you to trust the process and I think we need to have a probably episode on that. What it's looked like for us to trust the process and I think we need to have a probably episode on that. Yeah, um, what it's looked like for us to trust the process, especially when you know that it was it was not led by like selfish ambition or anything, like you were making the decision for the for the good of something, something and maybe someone other than yourself. Um, perhaps you feel like God told you to do something and you're in the middle of it, like wait did I hear incorrectly.

Speaker 2: 50:10

So trusting the process to go through, because you don't really know what's on the other side of a corner, let alone the other side of a of a of a day, of a week, of a month, of a year, and so just keep on going and keep choosing your choice. I got that from another podcast.

Speaker 1: 50:29

I loved that. Choose your choice. I love that.

Speaker 1: 50:32

I love that I think that's a great thing to end on choosing your choice, riding this thing on out and you know there will be times where you know you're wrong in that make a decision to change and pivot quickly. But if you're sure of your choice and have comfort and faith in it, continue to choose whatever choices that you make in the future. This is Conversation at the Well. We're super excited that you stopped by to spend some time with us and we will see you in the next episode.