Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey guys, it's Desiree and Vernon, and we are so glad that you found your way back to Conversations at the. Well, hey, do us a favor. We really need you to like, subscribe and comment on this so that you can know when our episodes are coming out and we can hear from you, because we really want to read what you got going on what you got to say out there.

Speaker 2: 0:19

That's what we want to know.

Speaker 1: 0:20

We really want to know that you're out there and we will respond to you, so listen. Don't forget like, subscribe, comment and you can find us on YouTube and anywhere that you get your podcast. We'll see you later At the well.

Speaker 2: 0:33

Hello and welcome to Conversations at the Well. My name is Vernon Brown and I'm Desiree Brown, and we are here to discuss topics about life, about family and everything in between. If this is your first time joining in with us, we want to thank you for spending some time with us and we hope you'll stick around throughout the entirety of Conversations at the Well. So last week we had a conversation about rest and about stillness, and that resulted in us talking about well, deciding about instilling a Sabbath day, a day of rest on Saturday of each week, and we were talking. We told you last week that this week we're not going to be able to talk about it because our first opportunity will be tomorrow.

Speaker 1: 1:17

Tomorrow, because this is Friday, yeah, or we might need to push it back a week, anyways.

Speaker 2: 1:22

So what we're learning through this process of deciding to do this day of rest is it takes planning, it takes setting aside some time, it takes really putting some thought around building the life that you want to build. And that leads us in to our conversation topic today, which is all about creating the life that you dream of.

Speaker 1: 1:41

Yeah. So you know he asked me a question and he said what does what would you want your life to look like? And you know I had to pause because I was like, okay, this is that's kind of a big question what would I want my life to look like? Does it look like how I want it to look right now? Are there things that I want to change and all of that kind of stuff? And honestly, I'm still processing through the question to be able to fully answer it. But I am curious if you have given it some thought and if you have an idea of what you would want your life to look like ideally.

Speaker 2: 2:14

Yeah. Well, I think, before we even get there, it takes some time kind of unpacking what the question is and what the question isn't. So if I were to ask you guys out there, what does your dream life look like? You may say things like I'm rich, or you may say things like I work every day, or you know, I have a big and thriving family, which which that's all good and those are great goals.

Speaker 2: 2:34

But when we're talking about creating the life that you dream of, when you wake up in the morning, what happens next? And before you go to sleep at night, what happens next? What time are you going to sleep? Before you go to sleep at night, what happens next? What time are you going to sleep? What time are you waking up? What does it take to build and lay out whatever your dream life would look like? So, with that in mind, for me it's a very, very, very, very far cry from where I am today. It's waking up early in the morning I'm probably before everyone. It's getting some exercise, it's spending some time with God. It's then getting my kids up and up and dressed and their shoes, actually resulting in being on the right foot.

Speaker 1: 3:13

Yeah, and their shorts being pointed in the right direction. Yeah, small things so important.

Speaker 2: 3:15

Then they would probably go out, get on the bus and be off for school. I mean, granted, you know they're. They're not that age yet for the most part, but that would be the dream, so that I come back and I still would have some time maybe an hour, an hour and a half of just focusing on me before I would turn my attention to work what would you do in that time with yourself?

Speaker 1: 3:34

like what would that me time be?

Speaker 2: 3:36

I would probably sit on a balcony overlooking the ocean, with air condition behind me oh, this is a far cry from where we are. Yeah, now, yeah because there's no oceans around here. I just wanted to know what that was like I think of it as just easing into the day where I don't have to be stressed about it. Maybe I use that time to plan out my day, write my to-do list. But really just easing into it, versus it walking up and smacking you in the face because you have outlook meeting after outlook meeting.

Speaker 2: 4:02

You have people who want their money, employees who need to get paid, and I need to pay some people now that I think about it.

Speaker 2: 4:07

But all of these things right, all of these things that need to happen, and it's more so having enough time to ease into your day, and so, when we're talking about creating the life that you dream of, first of all it's the experience, or the thought experiment, of sitting down and plotting out what your day would look like and then reverse engineering it to say what do I need to do in order to get there?

Speaker 1: 4:30

Okay.

Speaker 2: 4:30

One thing that we often fall flat on is we try to do too much at one time. So I could say I need to be able to get up at three o'clock in the morning and get the boys ready at four o'clock in the morning and all of these things will line up, but it's like, well it could. That's a lot of change at one time. Let's focus on one thing that you can do, that you can sort of start this new habit that everything else can flow off of yeah.

Speaker 1: 4:52

So I'm curious. So you've you've kind of described the engineering of the first part of your day, and I guess the rest of it would kind of be dependent on some other things, because we you talked a, a you kind of touched on it, but I guess we're going to dive a little bit deeper into it as far as, like, the goals versus life, because, like you said, life is the every day of that, but the goals are what you're working towards during your life. So, like, uh, some people might say, oh, I want to be, you know, rich, and oh, some people want to be famous. I do not want to be famous, I would like to be, um, rich though. So, anyway, are there, are there goals that you're actively like? Is there an end goal? I guess, if you were continuing to engineer your life and you knew you needed to put a certain amount of time towards a certain thing, do you know what those things are yet? Or is that something that you're still thinking through?

Speaker 2: 6:01

So the longer and I say this like I'm 60, but I'm not but the longer I live. But seriously, the longer and the further we get into this thing called life, the less and less I'm sure of what the future would look like.

Speaker 2: 6:15

Like yeah, there are those things like I want to be rich, I want to do this, I want a thriving family, all of those things. But when you're talking about me coming out of college, I wanted to make X amount of money, I wanted to have the CEO somewhere, I wanted to be on a board and all of these things. But now it's like I wouldn't have had any expectation that 2024 would look like 2024 back in 2020.

Speaker 1: 6:38

Or even at the beginning of 2020. Or even at the beginning of 2024.

Speaker 2: 6:46

And so I'm almost going through this maturation process of like releasing what it is that I want and not completely like. I still have goals and dreams, but as far as what the end post is, I can truly say I have no clue what that looks like, outside of the fact that I would like to see and be able to materially prove or measure excellence in anything that I'm attached to. So at one point it was I wanted to be CEO in business. I wanted to be a great husband. I wanted this, this, this and this. Now it's more so. I want it to be great.

Speaker 2: 7:15

Insert noun here, insert adjective here. And so that's kind of where I am in this particular season. Anything that I'm a part of, I want it to be thriving and I want it to be growing and I want it to be done with excellence, and so with that pursuit, it doesn't really matter the thing that is put in front of me, but if I'm going to spend time or I'm going to be a part of it, it needs to be growing, it needs to be thriving and it needs to be of excellence.

Speaker 2: 7:41

You know, that's so interesting that you say that because we haven't shared your name and like the meaning of your name.

Speaker 1: 7:52

What's my name? Your name is Vernon. What's my name? Your name is Vernon Brown.

Speaker 2: 7:56

Jr. You're supposed to say that differently, but anyways, go ahead.

Speaker 1: 7:59

Vernon Brown Jr.

Speaker 2: 8:00

There we go, there we go. It only took three tries.

Speaker 1: 8:06

And Vernon. Well, I don't know if you want me to say your middle name out there, but your whole your name actually means what you're describing yeah, flourishing for vernon and conqueror for troy yeah, so troy being the middle name, so, um, I think that's really interesting and I never put those things together, yeah that your the name, the words that we speak to you every day, because it's what we call you and it's meaning behind you is almost like driving you in that direction of wanting things to grow and thrive, because you're a flourishing conqueror and that's what you do.

Speaker 2: 8:38

Yeah, I'll tell you one other thing that I add, that has been added to it and really as a result of the well and seeing the well grow and thrive as a business, is really the environment or the community around it. When I first started doing anything, it was just as long as we got results. I don't care how you feel, but I've matured, I've gotten a little bit better and I've seen the fruit and I've seen the outcome of having community, having a place where people want to be, not just because it's successful but because they enjoy being there.

Speaker 2: 9:09

And you can certainly sense a difference in the air, when that exists. And I think that's also valuable too. Yeah, that's good. So we've talked about creating the life that you dream of. We've talked about the difference between setting goals, if you will and creating life, and in some ways they overlap, but in a lot of ways they're different. What are some tools that people can use in order to help do the thought experiment of figuring out what these things are?

Speaker 1: 9:36

Yeah, I think. I mean it could come any number of ways. Maybe it's just literally sitting down and saying, okay, I got 24 hours. What would I like? For what would I like the first third to look like? What do I want the second third to look like? What's the third third? What kind of what do I want it to look like, and what actions do I need to put in place to do that?

Speaker 2: 9:57

And actually let me pause you there, because I think there's one really important thing. I think there may be a lot of people who are listening whose responsibility as a mother, responsibility as a parent, responsibility as a caregiver, whatever that is may overlook their own life goals, dreams, in pursuit of everyone else's, or making everyone.

Speaker 2: 10:19

it's important that we all know that, even in the midst of serving others, even in the midst of being support for others, what we desire and what our life means to us is important and is valued and is worth us pursuing and thinking about. Yeah, it's not that the best thing about you is what you do for everyone else. I mean, there may be some thread of truth there, but your life in and of itself has importance and should be pursued.

Speaker 1: 10:50

Yeah, and I mean I think that you're right. You have to be realistic in your approach to that, because there are, there may be needs that you help to fill in the lives of other people and you really have to realistically consider those things when you're designing this life. But the thing about the design of the life you also want to ensure that you're feeling and feeding yourself so that you can go and do the things that you like have to do to to take care of yourself, take care of others, take care of your business, take care of your whoever.

Speaker 2: 11:25

And.

Speaker 1: 11:27

But you have to take care of yourself, and I think that's something that we overlook so much. Like you said, you wake up and the day smacks you in the face, and then for the rest of the day you're like ouch, ouch. And you're just trying to keep up with the pace of your life, but by maybe even waking up a little bit earlier, which I think we've tried, we're doing okay.

Speaker 2: 11:53

You're doing okay.

Speaker 1: 11:54

I'm doing okay.

Speaker 2: 11:56

I won't say I'm doing great, but I'm doing okay with the waking up early, like that's.

Speaker 1: 12:01

I'm like that is my time, that's my time, like, if I don't have that time, I'm for real like feeling crazy, so, um, but yeah, it's like waking up and it is it's um, I guess, a sacrifice in a way, but it's like I get so much out of it though, yeah, you know so, even if it's 30 minutes earlier, even it's an hour earlier, to be able to fit in some of those things. Some of those things for me are, uh, like you said, spending time with god, spending time in prayer. Um, I do prayer journaling. I think I mentioned that in a previous episode. Um, I haven't been doing the exercise in the morning like I used to, but that's because we have the exercise classes in the evening, and so that's really. But at one point I was trying to fit in all of that and trying to get the kids to school on time and and it was just a hot mess.

Speaker 1: 12:53

Thankfully, my dear, sweet, amazing husband has helped me, because he knows that my mornings are my most productive hours.

Speaker 1: 13:00

You, you've taken on taking the children to school and all that, so I still do have a little bit more time to get my day started. I guess I need to figure out a way to take something off your plate so you can have your time as well, but so it could be just like planning out your day in thirds, maybe it's vision boarding. We've done that several times, like with our family, with our friends. We've done it here at the well having vision board parties and that's just kind of laying out with pictures and words what you want to see in your life, and I think that that exercise is it can be really impactful, because sometimes you don't you kind of you have an idea, but when you start to see it visually, you're like, oh, okay, and then when you have it in a visual or like on a paper or on a page or on a poster, you can put it up somewhere so you can constantly be reminding yourself of like, oh, that's the life I said I want to live.

Speaker 2: 14:01

Yeah, and all of this is about taking some nebulous cloud of an idea and bringing it closer and closer to reality. So we say we want all of these things and it stays in our head. But what if we're busy and we're thinking about other things? So you're grabbing it out of the clouds and saying, okay, well, throughout this magazine, or throughout these groups of magazines, or these quotes or these words, what does it tangibly look like? And that brings it from your thoughts to something that you can see. And then from something that you can see to asking the next question of what can I do each and every day to put me on path or on target to get to the life that I want to live?

Speaker 2: 14:38

So, for you and me, hey, I want to have a closer relationship with God. Well, I need to get in, I need to get up, get up earlier. Well, what do I need to do to get up earlier? I need to go to bed, or go to bed earlier? Well, what do I need to do to go to bed earlier? Well, then I need to start, you know, shutting things down a little bit sooner.

Speaker 2: 14:52

But, you know, it's a train that you have to continue to pick one thing that you want to change about your life and start to step it back and say what does it take for me to live this out? You want to do a Sabbath or a day of rest on a Saturday, lord Jesus. So what I started doing so for our church, you know I have to. You know, prepare a sermon for Sunday, prepare Sunday school, you prepare children's church, loading all of that content and information into the computer for the run, the slides, loading the songs into the computer for the slides, which I would usually do Saturday. But so if I'm going to prioritize a day of rest, well then I had to reach out to some people this week to say, hey, rather than making your song recommendations Saturday, which is my new day of rest, can we do it Thursday or can we do it Wednesday? And so, starting to prepare, I wanna do this, but for me to do that I need to backwards engineer my life so that I can prioritize this thing.

Speaker 2: 15:46

So, often we get stuck with saying that's what I want, but we never take any actionable or sustainable steps to get there.

Speaker 1: 15:53

And, for the record, you remember last week when we were talking about the Sabbath, and he was very like oh, I'm not sure, but he's actually started taking action. Me, on the other hand, I'm still like operating in the same way that I have been, and so I really. That's why I said we need to maybe push it back a week because I have not done the steps y'all make sure she knows that y'all lazy, that she lazy in the comments. Tell her about herself, please but I need to start walking that stuff back and really planning um.

Speaker 2: 16:20

Saturday is tomorrow.

Speaker 1: 16:21

Saturday's tomorrow. It's not happening tomorrow. Why not? I haven't like I have. I have to. I still have to prepare the things for Sunday that you just talked about I guess I gotta do it today.

Speaker 2: 16:30

You have 24 hours.

Speaker 1: 16:31

Oh lord, help me for real, like that's a real prayer. Um okay, oh jesus we told them.

Speaker 2: 16:38

We would tell them about it in two weeks. Y'all hold her accountable, don't?

Speaker 1: 16:40

let her slip out.

Speaker 2: 16:41

She all slithery and slippery y'all slither out of this.

Speaker 1: 16:45

Okay, okay, okay, all right, but it is going more towards the life that I said that I wanted.

Speaker 2: 16:51

Get your life together.

Speaker 1: 16:54

So I have to engineer the rest of it to make sense, and it's never going to be convenient.

Speaker 2: 17:00

I think, as we walk through this together, we're very authentic in saying it's never going to be convenient, it's never going to be easy. There's always going to be something else that requires your time and we may fail. We may get to like noon and be like shoot.

Speaker 1: 17:13

I really need to get some work done, but I mean at least you start putting your steps in place ahead of time.

Speaker 2: 17:20

So we talked a little bit about making a vision board to kind of make your goals more of a reality. One other thing I saw on Facebook and you probably have seen it on Facebook too. I saw it on a Steve Harvey morning show, a little snippet where he talks about making a list of 300 and, you know, writing down 300 things you want to achieve or you want or you have as goals for your life. And it's a really interesting experience because you're like, yeah, I got 300 things I want to accomplish and by the time you get to a hundred and 120, you're out of stuff, and so you really start needing to, you really start to need to stretch.

Speaker 1: 17:55

You just got to 20.

Speaker 2: 17:58

You ain't even get to triple digits.

Speaker 1: 18:00

What else do I want? Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 2: 18:02

But it makes you take a deeper thought at what it is that you want to do, and then it also may push your attention back up to what you did right down and break that down into smaller increments. You want to be a millionaire? Okay, Well, you also. If you want to be a millionaire, you also want to be a 500,000 air and a hundred thousand air and all of these things. So it really pushes you to make actionable steps and it's not just a one-time thing. You write it out. I think I'm at like 175. I think that's as far as I've gotten. But what's interesting is every few years I remember that it's saved on my computer somewhere and I'll go back and look and things have came off the list.

Speaker 1: 18:37

And so, yeah, it's amazing.

Speaker 2: 18:39

And it's like you're not putting forth any effort, but because you wrote it and you know, you kind of communicated it out there that it's something that you want, it's certainly something that can come up, come into your reality.

Speaker 1: 18:48

Yeah, and one other really cool thing about that is and I've seen it more with you because, again, I did not get that far on my list- but, I, saw it more with you where you started a lot, but just like it stretches you too.

Speaker 1: 19:03

It stretches you because you're like oh my gosh, can I only think of 20 out of 300? Like that's crazy, like I still have a 100 and 280 more spots. Yeah, quick math, um, and so that means that I need to, like, expand my thought, expand my horizon, expand what I think is in the realm of possibility or expand what you identify as a goal.

Speaker 2: 19:29

So my stuff started out as career stuff, because that's what I'm, you know, that's what most men are comfortable with. I want to do this, I want to accomplish that. Well then, when you exhaust that, well then you turn your attention to your family. What are my goals for my family? And then, when you run out of that, what are my goals for my faith? What are the goals for my generosity?

Speaker 2: 19:46

I want to be able to fly a bunch of friends off to a trip and just say, hey, you get the time off, it's paid for, you just have to get here. And when you start to go into all these different realms, you start to realize that there are wins you're experiencing in your life that you're ignoring, because you're not even looking at them as wins. Like if you were able, or you were financially stable enough to give some person on the side of the road $20, that's a win. Like somebody can't do that. And so that's an opportunity for you to kind of recalibrate what a win looks like and really have more appreciation for all of the blessings and all of the miracles that you experience in your life in a day-to-day time.

Speaker 1: 20:23

Yeah, would that be considered work Like? Is that something I can do on a Sabbath? What Right Like work on my list of 300? You make the rules. I know it's. It's because it's a quiet time and I think that sometimes life is so busy, I don't even, I'm just going, I'm not reflecting.

Speaker 1: 20:40

I'm not planning, I'm just going, and I think probably a lot of you all can relate to that. It's just like in that go mode it doesn't leave time for creativity. It doesn't leave time for creativity. It doesn't leave time for the intentional planning and going forward with what you want out of life. And I think we talked about it. Didn't we talk about write the vision?

Speaker 2: 21:02

We talked about it in life, but not with our group here.

Speaker 1: 21:05

Yeah, well, of course, the very well-known scripture write the vision, make it plain. So, those who read it may not tarry.

Speaker 2: 21:15

May run with it.

Speaker 1: 21:17

May run with it and not tarry Habakkuk 2. Okay, at least I got that part right.

Speaker 2: 21:22

I'm going to check you in a minute, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1: 21:27

Okay so, but, but yeah, I think all of these things, whether it's vision boarding, whether it's writing out your list of 300, whether it's dividing your day into thirds, it's all about like physically writing it down so that you can see it Others also can see you be able to better communicate it as well because you have it written down and then putting actions in place to start working towards those. Whatever list you've made the list or the board, or whatever you've made you're working towards it yeah um, you were talking about like also engineering your life to be able to actually do it.

Speaker 1: 22:07

So like, if I want to wake up earlier, that means I need to go to bed earlier, because it's not realistic to think that you can go to sleep at midnight and wake up at 4 30 on a regular basis and still be healthy and, you know, not be dragging, and all kind of health issues start arising yeah so you actually have to start working that back.

Speaker 1: 22:25

So, like, why do I stay up till 12? What? What is typically in my way? Okay, well, maybe I ate dinner late, maybe I was, maybe I got my physical activity in, but it was too late at night and I'm still hyper and still like trying to come down from that.

Speaker 1: 22:40

Maybe it's watching reels watching reels, watching tv, watching whatever you watch, um, and kind of saying, okay, cool, these are not actually helping me get towards my dreams. These are we can call them dream killers. These are dream killers. So the life that I want, the life that I've dreamed of, the life that I want to design, let me start walking back and taking out getting rid of the dream killers in my life. Usually they're a bad habit. Sometimes people have described dream killers as other people.

Speaker 2: 23:12

Yeah, I think a dream killer could be a person. It could be an influence. It could be a time waster.

Speaker 1: 23:16

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 23:17

Anything that either actively kills a dream or kills your ability to execute a dream, I think are all dream killers.

Speaker 1: 23:24

Yeah, and sometimes our biggest dream killer is ourselves, because we don't think we don't think big enough, or we don't think that we have the capacity to do it, or we don't think that we have. Whatever it is, we think that we don't have in order to do the thing that we want to do, and so it's also checking that too, checking that right at the door. Leave it there, matter of fact, just throw it in the trash. Whatever that thing is, it's keeping you from moving forward so that you can begin to make progress.

Speaker 2: 23:54

Got it. I love it. So, to recap everything we've talked about so far, so number one, engineering, or creating the life that you want to live, first of all starts with you identifying what the heck is the life that I want to live.

Speaker 1: 24:05

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 24:06

And then backing it up step by step to say what do I need to do, what do I need to change in order for me to get from wherever here is to wherever there is? And then unpacking that and saying what steps can I take consistently? Not everything, but pick one thing that you can do consistently to start changing your life towards it. And then finally going out and looking for almost like you're looking for weeds in a yard that you're trying to grow when are those little dream killers that are killing and zapping my belief in myself, my belief in what I can achieve, and stopping me from being able to do those things? Whether it's a person, whether it's some kind of limiting belief that you have, or whether it's just yourself, never pushing yourself to think or to dream bigger, what are those things that are stopping your dream?

Speaker 1: 24:53

Yeah, I also want to add in there, and I don't know how you feel about this, but I hate it. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I think there is. We talked about like we brushed over real quick, but the one thing that you can do consistently, let's call that like. I think we've read books about keystone habits like that one thing that you can do consistently.

Speaker 1: 25:12

But I do think there has to be a degree of flexibility, not in the sense of changing everything because the keys don't have. It should still be in place. That is the one thing it's like. If I do this thing, I know it kind of makes a cascading effect for all these other things to come into, fall into place so, for example, for me, if I get in bed at 10 o'clock or I'm like slowing down at 10 o'clock or in bed at 10 o'clock

Speaker 2: 25:40

then I'm able to wake up earlier and everything else seems to go more smoothly. Yeah, if I'm in, if I get to bed at 10 o'clock, then I'm able to wake up earlier and everything else seems to go more smoothly. If I get to bed at midnight, then I'm tired. If I wake up at all, the kids are behind and work is behind and everything else spirals out of control. So my keystone thing, the one thing I can do that will make the biggest impact on my day, is go to sleep or get in bed on time.

Speaker 1: 25:59

Yeah, and turn off those reels.

Speaker 1: 26:02

And tell my business like that I need to turn off the reels too. So there's that, but um, but there's the, the other flexibility. That's not, not the habit, not the keystone that you're. You're banking everything on. It's those other things, because even if you went to sleep at 10 o'clock that evening, maybe at two o'clock, maybe one of the kids wakes up because they're not feeling good, or maybe there's a impromptu meeting that gets put on the calendar, like there's always like something. But as long as it's like, ok, but I did the thing.

Speaker 2: 26:37

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 26:38

You know, at least there's, there's at least an accomplishment for that day. You know at least there's there's at least an accomplishment for that day, and it also kind of makes room for the other things that might happen in life, because life be life and right it makes. It makes room for those things without completely throwing off everything that you've been doing.

Speaker 2: 26:57

So four things people can do to take away from this conversation to see meaningful change in their life. Number one is Think about the life that you want to build. Think about what your perfect life or perfect day would look like and set that in stone, perhaps write that down. Number two figure out what it's going to take for you to get from where you are to where you're going being that perfect life that you want to live. Number three start to identify what it is that you can do every day to help you get on track towards that. And then, number four, and probably most importantly, identify the keystone habit. That's the key, the linchpin, the most important being the weight-bearing wall, whatever terminology you want to use that one thing that is so important that really unlocks the fruitfulness for the rest of your day figuring out what that is and making sure that you're giving yourself grace and giving yourself recognition for doing that each and every day you're able to.

Speaker 1: 27:55

Yeah, and I think it allows for those days because life does life right.

Speaker 1: 28:00

There will be days that will completely throw you off, like I mean and not to get gruesome, but sometimes they like things happen, like people pass away unexpectedly. All of that, like that is something that might really like mess your day up. Most people probably would mess their day up and so it's like, okay, all right, that thing happened. But having that keystone habit, having that one thing, that is something that you can kind of almost like anchor, will help to anchor you.

Speaker 1: 28:35

We know God is our anchor, but like that can help to anchor you, to be like okay, well, all right, well, 10 o'clock is coming, so let me go ahead and lay it down. There's nothing I can do about that right now. You know, let me lay it down, let me get some rest so that next day I can start and I can start planning and reaching out to people and doing whatever needs to be done to take care of that thing. That's a really gruesome one and I did not make mean to make this take a gruesome turn, but it's life things do happen, yeah so it.

Speaker 1: 29:02

It helps in so many different ways, not only for your accomplishments, on like your better days, but even on your bad days, that it helps to just kind of get you back on track, like, okay, if I can just get this thing done again, all right, we can, we can keep moving so, not to put you on the spot, but to put you on the spot, okay, you have a desire to create the life that you dream of, which includes a day of rest uh-huh which is supposed to be tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 29:31

So let's do this live. So let's work it back. What? What needs to happen between now and then, which happens to be tomorrow, for you to pull this off.

Speaker 1: 29:40

Yeah, and this was your idea. Yeah, it's my idea and you wanted to do it so bad. Okay, I don't even know if I had anything on the schedule for tomorrow, but definitely have some things I need to plan for for sunday okay okay, so sunday school lesson getting that together sunday school lesson and getting my charts and stuff together because we're like oh yeah, reformatting like how that goes and trying to add some more structure to the classroom as well as leadership opportunities for our children.

Speaker 1: 30:08

Yay, so I need to get that stuff done today, okay.

Speaker 2: 30:13

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:19

And I need to have some meal things going on, so I need to either go grocery shopping today.

Speaker 2: 30:27

Oh Jesus, you usually do that on Sunday though, right.

Speaker 1: 30:31

I have, and I've kind of switched between Saturday and Sunday. I can maybe put it back on Sunday. But, yeah, maybe We'll see. Okay, but thankfully we do have enough things and I don't have to do that because we do have enough things that I can. I can cook up, make prepared, so we don't have to do any cooking tomorrow. It's just a matter of like serving, yeah, um, and maybe come up with a couple of things I want to do on saturday or the rule list we talked about the rule list like what is it like defining what a day of rest looks like yeah, what are?

Speaker 2: 31:04

we aspiring to do? What is the the outcome that we're looking for? Yeah, since it was your idea, I need to have a conversation with you. Yes, me yes conversation with me?

Speaker 1: 31:15

yeah, I want to have a conversation with me.

Speaker 2: 31:16

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I love that okay.

Speaker 1: 31:20

So I mean, you probably guys see um some sign language going over here, so I'm going to acknowledge the fact that our one of our children is here and we're trying to signal, you know. Hey, we're not finished recording yet, so go have a seat, um. So anyway, you know, because life is life and life is life and life is life and there's no need to cover that up. It is what it is, but okay. So those are the things I need to do. So, prepare for Sunday school. Do the task and leadership list.

Speaker 2: 31:47

So what's your, what's going to be your keystone habit? And I know you haven't spent a lot of time thinking about it, but you know, with tomorrow coming and us hopefully setting ourself up for being successful week after week. What you so stressed for Y'all. Remember when she was talking about how beautiful this was before. And, oh my God, just make your vision board and your goal loop.

Speaker 1: 32:11

When you try to make your dreams real. Okay, this is what this is it.

Speaker 2: 32:14

This is real.

Speaker 1: 32:15

Dreams becoming reality. Cause y'all see podcasts and y'all see people talk about oh, we just get up at four and run three miles and do all of this stuff, but but that face. Go back and rewind and look at that face. That face is so real. Yeah, because there's, things have to go that way. There's, there's, there's a limiting belief here, this like oh my gosh, there's so much to do. Or it could be like oh, I gotta get.

Speaker 2: 32:39

Let me get this done so that I can, yeah, no, I gotta get this done, which is where I was going, let me get this done so that I can Not.

Speaker 1: 32:42

I got to get this done, which is the way I was going but, let me get it done, so that I can go into Enjoy.

Speaker 2: 32:47

I can recuperate, I can be still.

Speaker 1: 32:50

So just changing my motivation.

Speaker 2: 32:52

Oh, how the tables have turned.

Speaker 1: 32:54

The tables have so turned.

Speaker 2: 32:55

I'm enjoying this.

Speaker 1: 32:56

Oh my gosh. And she thinks I forgot, so Keystone Habit. Oh, my keystone habit, I think I. Well, okay keystone habit would be my um 5 am. I was gonna say 4 I would. The alarm goes off before 4 30. I'm gonna give myself some grace. 5 am.

Speaker 2: 33:18

That's my up out the bed out the bed, feet on the floor feet on the floor.

Speaker 1: 33:22

Out the bed. Be in the. Be in the place. You know like that's for me. My, my office is also my prayer room, so go there I'm gonna try my best to distract you why would you do that? Yeah, you won't. You know you won't. Because you still be trying to fight that alarm over there that's true.

Speaker 2: 33:42

I won't be up myself, so I think the 5 am like literally in my, in my prayer chair okay that's my keystone habit and mine is 10 pm and can we just say in the bed, no because you could be in the bed for two hours.

Speaker 1: 34:02

Whoa, so what? So? So give your your drop, not drop dead, because I don't want you to drop dead, but give your deadline for when you need to be sleeping, like my eyes need to be closed at 11 59 oh well, then it's not even worth doing it 10, 30 no, you tell me what time you want to get up, you got to work it backwards. What time you want to get up?

Speaker 2: 34:26

y'all know what happened. We used to have work, like to go to class in the day before you and you'll be out really late. You have to do the math bad like 10 yeah, yeah, 10, 30 is good.

Speaker 1: 34:39

What time do you want to get up? 5, 30 I really want to give it five but the math isn't math. How many hours do you want to get up sleep?

Speaker 2: 34:48

I think I need six to be good. Seven is a luxury that's not true but let's do so.

Speaker 1: 34:56

10, 30 in bed okay, 10, 30 eyes closed. No, not in bed. 10 in bed 10, 30 eyes closed y'all see how mean she is.

Speaker 2: 35:04

Anyways, let's wrap this up. Thank you so much for joining us for conversations. At the well of this conversation, we hope you got a new perspective on creating the life that you want to live. We also hope you got the reality of what it looks like to actually do it like not the the clips you see online, not the amazing things that people tell you they do, but what it actually looks like to reason through your day reason through your life.

Speaker 1: 35:27

The struggle is real.

Speaker 2: 35:28

Struggle is real Reason through your life and figure out what decisions and what consistent steps are standing between here and wherever there is for you. I want to encourage you go down in the comments, drop some of the things that you believe that you want to do, or that are your keystone habits, or some of the goals that you want to do in order to live the life of your dreams, and we will see you down there in the comments.

Speaker 1: 35:53

All right, Like, subscribe comment. We'll see you next time. Bye.