Vernon Brown: 0:00

Hey there and welcome to Conversations at the Well. In today's episode we're going to be talking about the topic of comfort, which I don't know about you, but in my life right now, right here in this moment, seems to keep coming up as both a positive thing but also a negative thing, and me for one.

Desiree Brown: 0:15

I think y'all know that I love comfort. However, as we've been having some discussions, we've talked about how comfort can actually be kind of dangerous. So let's get into it. Join us for this conversation at the well.

Vernon Brown: 0:28

See you there. Hey there, and welcome back to conversations at the. Well, we are back. Finally, action, we are here. Yeah, I'm so excited to talk to you.

Desiree Brown: 0:38

Yeah.

Vernon Brown: 0:38

Yeah, I like our conversations every week. It seems like a good opportunity to get away from everything, kind of hit the pause button on life and just kind of reconnect and have a conversation. And you've been starving me.

Desiree Brown: 0:48

Yeah, man, it's been great Like it's been a lot of stuff going on between being sick and traveling for work. Yeah, and then I think one time it was just a conflict schedule conflict. It was just crazy. So here we are, we're back and we're going to get into it. So what are we talking about today?

Vernon Brown: 1:05

So today is all about comfort and, you know, there are maybe a few things that come to your mind when you hear the word comfort For me, I think about comfort food, some good old sweet potatoes, some yams, some good food. But comfort means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. It can be food, it can mean how you want your life to be?

Desiree Brown: 1:26

I want to live a comfortable life. What are some other things? Your environment, so just like the comforts of home you know you talk about those type of things, um, just like some of the wonderful things that we get to enjoy in our life, like air conditioning there you go. It's not a necessity. It is in fact a comfort, although I think some of us will argue it is a necessity. You might argue it's a necessity.

Vernon Brown: 1:46

Absolutely.

Desiree Brown: 1:47

But then there's just like like where you are in life. I think that there's sometimes we can find ourselves in comfortable places, places that we've gotten accustomed to, we know what to expect. All of that stuff is kind of just it's's, it's repetitive, it's routine and we kind of just know it.

Vernon Brown: 2:08

And that part gets real when you talk about comfort on your job. I've been doing this for 20 years. I know exactly what I need to do. I know exactly how to be the best. Everybody needs me for everything. But what happens when your next step takes you out of the place of knowing everything? But now you got to go back down to zero and start over, when, when you're being pulled out of your comfort zone to get to whatever you think your next level is yeah, and in fact I think is.

Desiree Brown: 2:33

I think it's safe to say that growth is like the antithesis of comfort.

Vernon Brown: 2:40

It's the opposite like you cannot be what you're talking about.

Desiree Brown: 2:43

You cannot grow when you're comfortable. It is a process that it stretches you, it pulls you, it elevates you, and all of those processes and experiences, more times than not, are very uncomfortable.

Vernon Brown: 3:04

And I think it goes beyond growth, because sometimes we hide behind this word growth, where someone may say I don't want to grow. Right now I'm exactly where I want to be, but you can't grow, you can't expand, you can't make more, you can't get more, you can't evolve. All of the things that all of the adjectives or words you would use to say getting to the next level or leveling up, or I want to get to my new state None of that works without getting uncomfortable because it requires something in your life to change. Now you may be able to grab hold of it for a minute and still keep your habits and still keep what you've been doing and still keep your comfort of yesterday, but you'll never be able to fully take on what it is that you're after. You'll never be able to fully receive what it is that you are trying to take hold of until you are open to your life not being quite as comfortable as it was.

Desiree Brown: 3:52

Yeah. So I guess can we maybe talk about maybe some of the I don't know if we should talk about the comforts that we're, that we're experiencing now, or rather times where we have been made to be uncomfortable to get us to a next I'm trying to put my business on. Yeah, go ahead.

Vernon Brown: 4:14

So for me in in this season I'm in right now, like where I am right now I do feel like things are shifting and things are changing and what that means for me not to be like some holy word about shifting and all the shift in the atmosphere but in real life it's like life is changing and responsibilities are increasing, or I feel like responsibilities will be increasing.

Vernon Brown: 4:37

And something super wise I've heard I think it was td jakes that that once said it he says in every new stage of his life he attacks with new regiment and process. And so what that means is when he gets a new business or when he gets a new responsibility, a new child, whatever the newness is for him to be able to succeed, he's recognized that the tools and the habits and the things he used to do to keep his life on track will no longer serve him in this new environment.

Vernon Brown: 5:05

So there's a timing and there's a process in which you have to change how you do things in order to be successful or in order to find comfort in your new, uncomfortable place. Does that make sense?

Desiree Brown: 5:16

It does, and it's confirming of some of the experiences that I've been having lately, because I do think I am being pulled into more, and I say pulled because I'm not going willfully, but but. But I'm being forced to change. I'm being forced to let go of some of the things that have not been serving me in this point in my life, and I'm also being guided to do more, and I am the type of person that likes to not do more. I like to do less. I like the idea of like simplicity, but guys like, no, you, I. This is not, that's not for you. Like you know, it may work for other people, but for you, I need you to do more because there's more. There's more that I have.

Vernon Brown: 6:19

But unpack what you mean by more, because I think I think you may have someone out there who's listening and it's like well, why wouldn, why wouldn't you want more? Like, are you so spoiled that you?

Desiree Brown: 6:27

feel like you don't go ahead continue.

Vernon Brown: 6:29

Your question are you so small that you feel like you don't need more or want more. Require more absolutely, like tell us where you are, I mean that's a really good question.

Desiree Brown: 6:37

I cut you off.

Vernon Brown: 6:38

Go ahead, sorry I'm done now because I've been cut off two, three times you have.

Desiree Brown: 6:42

Yes, I'm very spoiled and that's quite frank um, don't get that on camera?

Vernon Brown: 6:47

yeah, I mean play this over. I'm in fact I'm gonna make a clip of this so I can bring it up there's.

Desiree Brown: 6:52

There's no denying that, though. Like I'm not shy about, like I am very at the creature comforts, like I have all of the things that I think people consider to be the american dream, right. Like we have a beautiful home. We have a beautiful home, we have a beautiful marriage, we have beautiful children, we have wonderful jobs. We have all of those things. Handsome children they're, they're okay. They're handsome too Okay, but they have beautiful spirits, they're just. I love them. So, in any case, we have a lot of the boxes that most people would desire. We have those things checked, and then, on top of that, we've added on even more things. Like we have a business, or businesses rather, and we have responsibilities at our church. We have, like, we have been entrusted with a lot of different things and um, what I think I hear you saying is that comfort could and would probably be.

Desiree Brown: 7:54

We could just live life as it is and just relax and come home and do homework and yeah, okay and in fact, people have questioned when I've especially in those times where I'm feeling so overwhelmed and I might be I might confide in someone like I'm feeling so overwhelmed, like I have so much going on, and they're like well, you brought all these things on yourself. And I'm like well, yes, but I think that's a very simplistic way of explaining those things. It's not that we just brought them on ourselves.

Desiree Brown: 8:28

I think we have been driven. I don't know how to describe it. I know you don't want to be holy, but I just am holy. So I'm going to say I do think that God just drives us into into more. Just drives us into into more.

Vernon Brown: 8:51

Um, he's entrusted us with a lot and he's entrusting even more things to us.

Desiree Brown: 8:54

So you know and I think it's super simple to him Much is given, much is required.

Vernon Brown: 8:56

So you know, you can sit back and just be a consumer of what you've been given, or you can say I recognize that this is a gift, I recognize that there are responsibilities attached to this. How do you desire to use us?

Vernon Brown: 9:11

or how do you desire to use us in a way that is supportive or equivalent to what you've given us, because I don't think we're naive enough to say that we're here just because you're smart or just because I'm smart or just because we think things through, like a lot of stuff breaks our way and we don't believe that those things are by happenstance. We believe those are decisions that God has made to say, hey, we're entrusting you with, or I'm entrusting you with, this, and I think to have that approach or to have that perspective brings you to all right, it's time to pay the piper approach, or to have that perspective brings you to all right, it's time to pay the piper.

Vernon Brown: 9:46

I would like to just come home and sit on the couch and watch football, but I can't remember the last time I watched a full nfl football game or basketball game or whatever like there's stuff that needs to get done yes, and I would love, not necessarily football.

Desiree Brown: 10:00

I mean, that's cool too, actually. Actually I would love to watch a football game the last football game you watched was that no, it wasn't let's talk about something else. I've watched games since, but that one was a heartbreaker. So, in any case, um but. But to answer your question, yes, I have. I have so much already and I would be perfectly content for life to remain the way it is but you're getting pulled but I'm getting pulled guys like no, no okay, so

Vernon Brown: 10:31

you find yourself getting pulled. Your heels are dug into the ground yeah um, where are you today? You still got your heels in the ground yes, well, I love your honesty.

Desiree Brown: 10:40

Yes, but, but I, but I'm also. My heart is changing, my heart is changing, I am yeah.

Vernon Brown: 10:47

I think that's like a huge moment of recognition, not not for you, as if you don't know this, but for people think, when you decide everything's going to change, no, no, no, it starts in your heart, or actually probably starts in your mouth. Then maybe you may see something, then it may go to your heart and then it turns into actions. But if you stop at, my heart has been changed, you can have a changed heart, but no changed action. You can speak truth and speak that you want to love someone, but until it's your actions and the truth of your actions come out, it's still worth nothing, and so I think that's a step that we often overlook to say, oh well, my heart's changed, but what about your actions? Gotten more? Um, I don't, I don't even know exactly what happened.

Desiree Brown: 11:47

I can't even name, like what the steps have been to get me my heart to begin to be moldable and and and um, amenable I don't know if that's the right word, but like just, I don't know what has happened to get me to the point where I'm like, okay, all right, I hear you and I am becoming more ready to let go of my current comfort in favor of where you're trying to take me.

Vernon Brown: 12:19

Which you keep saying so much. That's like so many lessons that are in here I don't even think you're even catching them all Like, yeah, there's a dynamic of your journey and my journey as individuals in which we're trying to in some cases sometimes we don't really try, but in some cases we try to become the best version of ourselves and to become the best example of who God wants us to be. And I think as I grow, that impacts your life and as you grow, that impacts my life. As I dig my heels in and say I'm done growing, that impacts your life and likewise on your side. And so I think, from a marriage or from a relationship perspective, there are things in which we observe about our spouse or not even observe or are impacted about our spouse, where we were like you really need to change that, because that's impacting me or that's not really working.

Vernon Brown: 13:11

But I think the purity of what you said is although I wish it was like oh well, my husband gave me this amazing word and that inspired me to change it's not what happened. It was a heart change that was brought on by something that you don't even recognize or remember probably God and so I think, as we look at our spouses as our, at our fiances, girlfriends, boyfriends, people we're in relationship with. Sometimes the biggest change may not need to be instigated by you. Sometimes it's recognizing something, laying bringing it to the Lord in prayer and allowing God to work it out in his timing. Cause I don't think it's the first time I've been like hey, you should probably do more. Hey, there are more responsibilities for you, but it doesn't quite go like this when I have the conversation. No, but it doesn't go like this at all. But you try to change me.

Desiree Brown: 14:07

Right.

Vernon Brown: 14:08

I don't want it to make it sound like I had this moment with God or so you need to change. No, I like this has nothing to do with me, but in alignment with everything that I probably have ever asked of you to get you to a point where it's like, hey, I recognize I need to move. And so I think the lesson in that little nugget that you just kind of breezed over is that there are some things that you can change and you can influence, but as it gets to those things that matter and that are deeply ingrained in those that we love, sometimes you just have to turn it over to God. Or, if you're not even to the point or have a relationship where you're turning it over to God, take your hands off and let him just work on it or fix it or impact it or influence it, because it's going to be a lot more smooth in his time than our time.

Desiree Brown: 14:56

Yeah, I'll say, the best things that ever happened in my life are when I let God do it, and I was. I was actively like working, like trying to do it, trying to do it, trying to do it, trying to do it. You want me to expand on that?

Vernon Brown: 15:07

No, I was going to just make a correction.

Desiree Brown: 15:12

The best things that happen in your life is when you let your you listen to your husband, even before my husband, even before I had a husband actually, that's one of the things I was thinking of is like, I mean, I've shared this with some people who know me personally, know this story, but it was a struggle in the dating. Oh my gosh, for those out there in the dating world, it was absolutely not because of my attitude, but it's just hard. And for those who are out in the dating world, bless your hearts, bless you. I will be praying for you, because it is hard to kind of navigate that, especially when you have morals and standards that you're sticking to. That may not be common, and so it was tough for me and I said, god, this is like my heart was broken, like I was just not not necessarily broken from an individual, but just broken from the entire experience because I was not getting what I wanted out of it, which was to find someone who would love me and not find me as, like, disposable, like I find the dating pool tends to be like, oh, I'll date you now, but kick you to the curb later, like I did not. That was. That's just not how I deal with people and I didn't like being dealt with in that way.

Desiree Brown: 16:24

So, anyway, I say all that to say I said, lord, I clearly I'm doing this wrong. I've been trying, but it's a mess and I can't anymore, so I'm taking my hands off. I'm actually going to stop and I'm going to focus in on you and what you want me to do and how you want me to grow. And I really, uh, uh. It was inspired by a sermon that I listened to from Andy Stanley, um, a pastor out of Atlanta, and I took a year off of dating or at least that was my intention and six months into that, six months into that, that's when I met you and you completely threw me off because I was very focused on no, I'm just doing me right now, um, I'm just focused on the Lord, trying to grow. And here you come, and but it was instant. It was an instant recognition that you were different, and it was an instant recognition that you were different. And it was an instant recognition that, um, I needed to at least give you the time of day, hear what you had to say.

Vernon Brown: 17:20

And I think that's the, that's the heart posture you're talking about, where? Hey, we're talking about um growth and a heart to grow. It's one thing to try to lead it on your own. It's another thing for the, the, the change to happen in your heart and then turn it into your actions. Um, you were talking about um, the process you were kind of going through through that, through that vein, keep going.

Desiree Brown: 17:42

Yeah, well, I mean that that was just that's one time where I said, okay, I literally surrendered, literally was like I cannot do this anymore. This is not working out the way that I wanted to. God take it over, because unless you say go, I ain't going, I'm done. And he was like all right, I got it. He like immediately things just started, I did some travel on my own, some international travel on my own. I was working out regularly. I was trying to get my well, not trying, I was working on my finances and my job, like I was just doing all the things that I knew I needed to do. As far as growth, it was concerned, and not so concerned about who's going to do it with me long-term.

Vernon Brown: 18:27

And then at some point that turned into comfortable term.

Desiree Brown: 18:34

And then at some point that turned into comfortable, comfortable that you've got to pull together, and then that was a. You were a disruption to that, but God was like. You must remember that all of the things that you were doing here were in preparation for him to come in. But I needed you to work on this stuff first, cause this was not in order. So you get, you got that stuff in order down here he comes. You're going to have to make room for him in your life. And I think it does relate to this conversation because, yes, I did become comfortable in that and you coming in and kind of messing up my I'm just doing me where now we had to, I had to learn how to do us. That was, that was a shift, that was a change, but it was like the best change. I'm so glad that change was made.

Desiree Brown: 19:17

And then where we are now, I think that there's even more. I mean it happened with children. It happens anytime, as you were mentioning with TD Jakes. Anytime something is added to you, it forces you to do things differently. You can't just if you're a single person, you can't remain single while married, if you're a married person and you all desire children or you're about to have children added into your life. You can't remain a couple without children. You just can't do the same actions if you know getting a house. You can't be a in a renter mind space when you own a home like there's just something, just things that happen in the evolution of um gaining more responsibility. It requires more of you. That's scripture, that's what you said. It's uh. To whom much is given, much is required. That is that's script, scripture, but that's also wisdom.

Vernon Brown: 20:11

So in that situation you had to change your mindset from or move out of the comfort of the, the the groove you found in being single, to being married or dating. Coupled, yeah, and so today you find yourself mother, wife, entrepreneur, all of these things, all of the things, and you're being drugged out of that comfort into a new, into a new place.

Desiree Brown: 20:32

Yeah, talk a little bit about that, yeah, so I want to say this on camera, ok, ok. So it's not that, any of those. The thing that's changing is that more is being added to the business, because the business as it stands right now is beautiful, it's great, but there's greater, there's more, there's I guess I can say this we're adding on a coffee shop to the building that we have. It was already outfitted for it and it was already really a part of the plan initially, but I knew that adding that type of a business in was different than what we've done. Everything else has been a service business. This is a product business, and so that requires us to learn new skills about how to manage inventory, be in prayer about the, the employees that will need that, will need to help to run the thing, because we can't just do it on our own as we've been accustomed to in the past. It's requiring us to learn about just like that, just food industry and kind of what that entails and all of the things that we haven't. Really it's just new, it's new, and so that's one way that I know is is we're being pushed into, but the other things are just the expansion of some of the other services and some of the other opportunities that we offer through the well um build community.

Desiree Brown: 22:12

And yeah, what I'm thinking is like, okay, there goes my Saturdays, you know, there goes me, my my desire to, you know, go and do all the things with my kids, that they're extracurriculars and all that, and perhaps, as things become more settled and as things are in place, then those things, you know, I could still do those things. I'm not going to neglect my children in favor of all of these different things, but just just some of the, the ease of somehow, that we have acquired or a bit been able to maintain in our life. Some of that is going to become a little bit more complex. It's also forcing me to let go of some of the things that I don't got. This this is in my prayer time yesterday. This is what was said Focus on the things that only you can do.

Vernon Brown: 23:06

Focus on the things that only you can do. My child Is that your god voice.

Desiree Brown: 23:13

God doesn't sound like that to me oh, what do you sound like? Um, it's hard to describe.

Vernon Brown: 23:19

It's more like a thought oh okay, so no sound no, sound okay, but I I recognize it was like that though I I have heard the voice of god before it sound like that like that?

Desiree Brown: 23:29

No, it was more like it was much quieter than you would think.

Vernon Brown: 23:33

for me, god, usually yells, not yells, but he's very sharp with me.

Desiree Brown: 23:38

Yeah, because I didn't want to say it. I wasn't going to say it, but you said it. It's out there now. But focus on the things that only you can do and delegate the rest.

Vernon Brown: 23:54

Wait, what was that? What does that mean? Or where did where did that come from?

Desiree Brown: 23:56

that was in my prayer time yesterday focus on the things that only you can do and delegate the rest. And so what that means. Like I, just to be clear. Only I can be his wife, so only I can be your wife, only I can be the mother to our children, only I can be your partner in this business. These are the things that are like only I can do, only I can do the job that's been entrusted to me through my employer. All the other things I tend to raise my hand for. A lot of stuff.

Vernon Brown: 24:34

Those things she raised her hand like she and, uh, she had a um at an auction with an auction, trying to win a painting or something because my my, my motivator.

Desiree Brown: 24:46

I like to help, I like to be of guidance and assistance, and so when those opportunities come up, it's usually because there's a need for somebody to do it and nobody else is raising their hand. There's probably a reason for that, and I have begun to be quiet and look around and like, oh my goodness nobody else is raising their hand.

Desiree Brown: 25:03

Why do I feel the need to fill the void and raise my hand? So, anyway, letting go of some of those things that were in service to other people, which is which is fine, there's nothing wrong with doing that, but I think there are seasons for it, and I think the season is over for a lot of those things and really to become focused more on things that are of of great interest, or or have some some like it's going to pour back into me as well. So like, yeah, um, and I mean it's, it's across the board. There's an in a few different ways. Those things have been um, coming up and I think right now, as I'm kind of weaning off of those things, my job is to set it up in a way that, when it gets passed to the next person, that it's left better, it's better in better condition than I found it, so I can pass it over to the next.

Vernon Brown: 26:00

So I hear all of that. Yeah, I think it's great. Yeah, what does that mean in real life? Like actionably, like, because even me like being married to you, like I hear that but I don't really know what it means.

Desiree Brown: 26:14

If that makes sense, you want me to give you an example.

Vernon Brown: 26:18

I guess yeah.

Desiree Brown: 26:19

And what part? You mean the passing it on to someone else or making it better.

Vernon Brown: 26:23

So the word was focus on the things that only you can do. Yes, so that comes in, that gets into your heart, what does, and not to ask you specifically what actions you're going to take. But what would that look like actionably in your life? Like we're talking about a broader conversation about comfort, and I think those two things are connected. But in what ways do you believe that your comfort is, will, could possibly be disrupted and what will that result in? I guess if that makes any sense, I'm trying to question.

Desiree Brown: 27:05

I'm trying to make. I don't understand the question like so.

Vernon Brown: 27:09

So you just listed off a bunch of stuff yeah, okay but I don't know what that means like in real life.

Desiree Brown: 27:16

Yeah, like what changes, how does? That impact or influence anything well the getting rid of the extra stuff is. It makes room for me to be able to. I don't feel like it's less for me to juggle, so right now, so it's really an.

Vernon Brown: 27:32

It's really an action or activity of getting stuff off of your plate, not necessarily adding anything or doing anything more.

Desiree Brown: 27:39

Well, I have to get things off my plate to put more things on my plate, and the things that I need to put more on my plate are the things that are actually um, the things that I need to put more on my plate are the things that are actually, um, the things that only I can do. Okay, because I'm actually full transparency, I have neglected some of the things that only I can do because I had so many other things that I had to do and so, um, it's just recalibrating and reprioritizing the things that I have on my plate, because you can't, you know, you start adding stuff to a full plate. It just starts falling off. So I'm actually in the process I'm going through now is identifying what do I need to take off. So I have actually room for the things that were. I need to pick some stuff off the floor that I dropped to be able to my plate. I don't think my plate will become any less full. It will just become fuller of more, full of the things that I actually need to prioritize.

Vernon Brown: 28:37

And I think that's super important to talk about and to communicate about, because I think when you're looking at anyone who has stuff or has some level of stuff, you're like how the heck are they doing all of?

Desiree Brown: 28:51

this yeah.

Vernon Brown: 28:51

And I think it's so important to the transparency of the conversation to say stuff gets dropped all the time. Yeah, I mean, I drop stuff. You drop stuff. It's just what's getting dropped and can you see it. But stuff is getting dropped or reprioritized. It's just what's getting dropped and can you see it, but stuff is getting dropped or reprioritized.

Vernon Brown: 29:07

And I think you know to any mom or dad or husband or wife, it's important to say that, like their decisions you're making each and every day, not responses to requirements, but decisions you're making as to what's important and as to what's going to be prioritized in a particular season.

Vernon Brown: 29:25

And I think it's our responsibility to recognize those decisions and recognize what those decisions are doing to those who we love, or those things, opportunities or organizations we're a part of, and then, as it's laid on our heart, make decisions to either continue down that path or to go down a different path.

Vernon Brown: 29:47

But I think the failure of a lot of us is that we just continue blindly driving down the road and never checking to say are we on track? Are we where we expected ourselves to be? And then, 10, 20 years down the path, we don't have a relationship with our kids, we don't have a relationship with our loved ones, or everything around us has fallen apart, except this one thing that doesn't really matter, that we thought was so important for so long, so I think that was a really good addition. I know, from my perspective, and kind of going down that same path or conversation you've been talking about, I've been trying to rebuild my life around a routine in the morning, because it's so difficult, like to get back on track if you start on the wrong foot like so it's all been about a morning routine for me.

Vernon Brown: 30:35

So trying to get up at a certain time, trying to get out well, get up, get up awake awake. Yeah, get awake, wake up.

Vernon Brown: 30:42

Wake up, then get out of bed get out of bed then get your day started, get the kids ready, like we we split up kind of how we do different things and so taking care of making sure that I'm not just like I know if I just lay here and act like I'm asleep, she'll take care of it, but like holding up my end of the bargain and like getting out of bed and doing the things that make the household work, because you know, I can't expect for you to be able to flourish in your day If I'm dumping all the crap I don't want to do on your plate all the time.

Vernon Brown: 31:10

So, and likewise, yeah, and so like, if it's my responsibility to get the kids dressed and out of bed and teeth brushed and face washed and breakfast made, okay, go go do that. So then I actually can set you up for a successful day and in addition to me, because if I can get out on time and get the kids to school on time, then I can get to the office and get working and everything else flows from there.

Desiree Brown: 31:31

Right, right, yeah, so it just is a recalibration. So you're recalibrating habits, which I've also done some of that as well, but just just the recognition of everything that I have going on is not necessary. So cutting the fat. Getting back to I don't want to say the basics because I don't even know what that is for our life. What is the basics? So it's not maybe that level, but just reprioritizing the things that are most important, and I think God is putting me in that process because he's like listen, there's more coming. As you get the rest of these things together, as you start taking action on other things I've told you to do, you're going to need room for it and right now you don't have it. So I think he's grace giving me grace. Thank you, god. I think he's given me grace to remove the things on my own terms before he has to remove things. He has to remove things that you don't want that because, then that's, that's well.

Desiree Brown: 32:34

It's uncomfortable either way. Um, I wanted to say something else around. Um, I wanted to say something else around that and I kind of lost my thought. But it around, I know I've heard and I don't know who said it first. But like when you say yes to some to one thing, you're saying no to something else and just being more mindful of who. And what I'm't want to do is is favor everything else and everyone else's desires to do things or whatever, and it is in direct contrast with building the marriage, building the family, building the life. That not that I just desire, but we desire, and I think that God desires for us. So I guess that's that's my thing, cause I'm really bad at saying no, really bad at saying no, but I'm becoming more, I'm becoming more clear in that and I'm also becoming more assertive in my no.

Vernon Brown: 33:52

Yeah, yeah, and I think this is.

Vernon Brown: 33:56

I think this is a first part of a much deeper conversation we're going to have about comfort over the next few episodes and just how it impacts us, how it influences us and where it's maturing us to get through I think you know, just as I said before, like you're, you're dropping so many like nuggets of wisdom and just your everyday conversation, just about thanking God for the grace to be able to come into the awareness of this before he has to push you into the reality of him taking things away and I think that goes for our listeners as well Like this is an opportunity for you to go on a journey with us and for you to go on a journey in yourself to say how is how I'm living or how I am governing my life impacting or influencing the things I'm praying for, the things I'm asking for even if you're not religious the things I'm hoping or manifesting or whatever words you want to put in there? How's it influencing those things? And how are your decisions to say yes or no to what you're currently comfortable in limiting your ability or your space or your margin or your gap to allow those more things to come into you, whether it's a new job, whether it's another child, whether it's a relationship, a business, whatever you have, do you even have the margin or the space or the thought capital to allow yourself to do those things well? And so I encourage you to stick with us over the next. I don't even know how we're going to release these things, whether it's going to be a bunch on one day or a couple of days or whatever, but we encourage you to go on this journey with us. We encourage you to one thank God for the grace, to for you to listen to this conversation, for us to be transparent with you and kind of talk about the things that we're working through.

Vernon Brown: 35:37

And hopefully that you'll go on this journey with us so that you don't have to get to the point where things are taken away, where life is forcing you to make a decision, but rather you can be on the leading edge of that conversation to say, hey, I've gotten a little bit too comfortable, or or I'm comfortable now and I desire discomfort, because discomfort also means growth and also means I can get to the next level. And so I think we're going to end this one here. We're going to probably come back with another one. We're going to dive a little bit deeper into a few conversations that we had, a few interesting quotes we've had from a few people in our life around the topic of comfort and what that looks like in real life. But we want to thank you so much for joining in with us for.

Vernon Brown: 36:18

Conversations at the Well. As we get back in the saddle, come back to the table and enjoy some conversation table. I'm so excited and enjoy some conversation. I like talking to you, I love talking to you and I think it's going well so far. So this is part one. I don't know what the title is yet, but it's going to be something with comfort in there. See how close I am to what the title actually is. But join in with us Hopefully you'll be here next week as we go into our next conversation at the Well on the topic of comfort.