Desiree Brown: 0:04

hey everybody and welcome back to conversations at the well. In this episode we are going to dig into comfort a bit more. If you caught our last episode, we kind of introduced it, but we're going to talk a little bit more about when comfort gets dangerous you put the eyes on me like that.

Vernon Brown: 0:21

Again it's going to get.

Desiree Brown: 0:26

Okay, so in any case, join us for this conversation at the well.

Vernon Brown: 0:31

We'll see you there. Hello, hello, and welcome back to Conversations at the Well. We have been joining, or we've been going through, this discussion about comfort, what it means, how we've been kind of being pulled and drug out of our comfortable little lives into what we believe that God is calling us into, which required us to do a little bit more, to challenge ourselves, to look into our life a little bit more, but also to turn away some of those things that may not be serving us, may not be what God has called us to be doing, but we've raised our hand for anyway.

Desiree Brown: 1:01

Yeah, yeah, and just the recognition that seasons change and so some things that were purposeful and did serve you and serve God well in one season, it may just not be time for it in this new season. So we're in a season of transition right now in our lives, but hopefully this conversation will enlighten you as to our process and what we've been experiencing and maybe help you. So join us for this conversation at the well.

Vernon Brown: 1:26

Absolutely so. There's a quote that I wrote. Well, it sounds really, really conceited to say that. There's a quote I want to read that, I think, kind of crystallizes this conversation, with the topic being you know when comfort becomes dangerous, and I think no matter who you are, no matter where you are, there are areas of your life in which you want to change, you want to grow, areas in which, where you look in your life and you say, ah, I really missed the mark on that, or I want to excel or go further in my life.

Vernon Brown: 1:58

But the sobering part of that conversation, the sobering part of that list that you have of areas in which you want to grow, is when you look at where you are and how different that is from where you want to be. The part that slaps me in the back of my head is that your habits of today Actually I wrote this wrong but your today, the truth of who you are in this moment, and how different that is from whatever goal or whatever fictitious image you have in your mind. Who you are today are the receipts you carry of yesterday's decisions and habits. So, whether you love yourself, whether you don't love yourself, whether you're excited about it, whether you're happy, whether you want 20 more years of whoever you are. Who you are today is the receipt that you have of the decisions and the comforts you've been living in over the past, however many years. Now, I don't want to make anyone feel unnecessarily negative because in some cases you know other people's decisions perhaps a spouse's decisions, perhaps a family member's decision has impacted where you are or where you aren't. But at some point in time you come into the realization that your hands are on the steering wheel now and you're making the decisions and you are forming or shaping your life, and the result, or the receipt of who you are today is a direct implication of the decisions you've been consistently making.

Vernon Brown: 3:34

And I don't know about you. When I thought about that I was like, oh man, I'm failing. That's not good Cause. I would like to blame it on why I got to do this for the kids, or my wife doesn't let me do this or this, that and the third. But when you really get down to it and you look at the fact that where you are who you are, whatever it is that you define yourself as as a result of your decisions, you're like man. It's so much easier to blame somebody else, but when the buck stops with you, you really have to look yourself in the eye and say well, maybe I'm the reason why I'm here.

Desiree Brown: 4:05

Yeah, but you've said it's not your fault, but it is your problem.

Vernon Brown: 4:11

Yeah, right.

Desiree Brown: 4:12

So, like when other people do, you know, sometimes the mess gets dropped at your doorstep. Ok, it wasn't your fault, but now it has become your situation to figure out. Yeah, and, and, and. We have to adjust. We can't just continue on and just ignore this thing that's on your doorstep. You gotta, you gotta. You gotta change, you gotta evolve. You got to maybe bring in some new habits or new ways of doing things that will help you take care of the things you already had and this new thing that is coming or has come your way.

Vernon Brown: 4:49

Yeah, I mean, when you, when you think about my job and I'm working with a lot more customers and it seems like emails are flying from every different corner of the earth and somebody says, hey, did you remember to do this? And I'm like, oh man, I didn't even start working on that, but I could say, well, I got this going on, I got that going on, I got that going on, which is true, there's a lot of responsibilities that are floating, but, at the end of the day, what did you do and what didn't you do? And here's a problem what are you going to do to fix it, to change it, to modify it or in some way to influence it so it doesn't happen again?

Desiree Brown: 5:23

you know, that happened to me yesterday. I'm not even gonna tell you exactly what happened, but essentially what you said like there was something and it was like on my to-do list, on my to-do list, on my to-do list, and I was like I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it and then, uh, another colleague came and was like so how's you know?

Desiree Brown: 5:40

and I was like, oh, okay, so now I have to figure out to backtrack, and I actually really need to be honest and say, hey, I dropped the ball here, but here's what I'm doing to fix it. And I have actively been working to fix the situation. But, man, I just hate when it comes back to you.

Vernon Brown: 5:57

And I think this is about a broader topic around habits, and when we think about the word habits, we think about these big things we aspire to do every day. I want to create a habit of praying every morning, whatever the habit you think is. But what I think we often fail to realize is that life is a habit. If you were able to step outside of your life and watch you, there are a lot of things I would venture to say probably 60 to 70 percent of the things you do on a daily basis you do out of habit. You do the same time, the same way every time, and we have habits relationally.

Vernon Brown: 6:47

Whatever it may be, it's because of the habits, whether we recognize them or not, the habits that we've developed over time, and so I think one thing we should talk about here today is the danger of the comfort that we experience as we live in good and mostly bad habits each and every day. For me, we talked a little bit about last week or last episode, rather about my habit, or lack thereof, of getting up in the morning. Alarm clock would go off at like 4.15 because I got high hopes, and when I'm going to go, I'm going to go at 150%. So the joker goes off and I probably don't even catch the first two, cause I'm a four 15, four 30, four, 45, five o'clock, I catch them all.

Vernon Brown: 7:31

Every single one every single one. But I, I created the habit of ignoring it first, snoozing it then and then waiting until I get to the poker I really need to get up.

Desiree Brown: 7:42

It's probably been like 20 now, so I should probably get up.

Vernon Brown: 7:48

Everybody's going to until I get to the poker. I really need to get up. It's probably been like 20 now. Yeah, I should probably get up. Everybody's gonna be late if I don't get up now and that just became the habit. That was just what happened, and the consistency of that led to the consistency of the outcome of me getting up, rushing, yelling like get ready, get ready, get ready, eat faster, eat faster, do this, do this, do this. And now I've disrupted the whole family. And it's not a random occurrence, it's the norm or the comfort of what the day is, because that's my habit. And so what I want to encourage everybody to look at is look at your everyday life and recognize the habits good and bad that are contributing to where you are. If you feel like you're living in financial lack, what are your habits and how you're spending your money? If you feel like you're not able to eat healthy, what are your habits that kick off the urges for you to go and get those fruit snacks out of the kitchen?

Vernon Brown: 8:37

Now, your kids don't have any snacks for their lunch in the morning, what are the habits that are contributing to where you are today? And then, when you see the gap between where you are and where you want to be, what needs to change in order to do those things? So, getting up earlier, getting up on the first alarm and setting a tone for creating that habit, but get this. So I've been doing this for like a week and I'm at day what's today, friday, day five, and we think that day one is most important, but it's day five and day 10 and day 20 that are super important, because this morning actually yesterday is when it first started.

Vernon Brown: 9:22

The alarm went off and I had to thought I got to get up at six, like, and it was 530. If I get up by six, I can still get the guys up and ready to go, and so it started to slip and I started to let go of the rope. And then today, yesterday, I thought about it. Today I did it where okay, I'm going to lay here a little bit longer. She's in there on her prayer call At where okay, I'm going to lay here a little bit longer. She's in there on her prayer call At six, I'm going to get up and get the day started, but it's in that moment, in that decision, where you're creating a new habit of no, I'm not going to hold myself to what I said I wanted. That would have resulted in me getting to where I want to go. Now I'm slipping and sliding and getting into the gray area and allowing the excellence of what I was after to come down to the averageness of where we often find ourselves falling down to.

Desiree Brown: 10:10

That's. That's integrity, right, that's where we get into.

Vernon Brown: 10:14

A big word for not getting up on time, but tell me more.

Desiree Brown: 10:17

It's, it's the integrity is I'm going to do doing what you say you're going to do essentially. I'm going to do doing what you say you're going to do essentially. And you, as you're describing that and I mean, I've had that too um, it it's. I think it's easier to be um, to have integrity with other people because there's an accountability. You don't want to disappoint the other person, but, like that same level of consideration for yourself and for the life that you're wanting and the habits you're trying to build. We can't, we're easy to slip and slide with the with what we say we're going to do when it comes to ourselves, but like and slide with the with what we say we're going to do when it comes to ourselves. But, um, like, how do we build up our integrity muscle, even with ourselves and the things we say we're going to do?

Desiree Brown: 11:12

Um, but I mean for for me, and thinking about, like, the time slot and whatnot, I realized, um, and this was an accident, I think I just like, I literally overslept my alarm. It wasn't even a snooze, it was just like I didn't hear it, which is unusual for me, right, I usually hear the alarm, but waking up um at even at five. So five is the goal. Even waking up at 5 30, like still, stuff is off because I still didn't get to do my prayer time like I want to. I'm so now I'm like, okay, I gotta, I need at least 15 minutes, and for me 15 minutes turns into more time.

Vernon Brown: 11:46

You better hurry up and speak, cause I only got five minutes.

Desiree Brown: 11:49

Well, I'm going to tell you what I got to say, but I'm not going to listen to what you have to say, cause I just don't have time, like for real, real talk, like that's on my mind. Thanks, okay, I'll see you later. So, for me, like 5am it works for me because it has gives me enough time to to tell God what I want to tell him, but also to hear what God has to say. Which is more important in my life at this point than me sharing everything that's on my heart. So point, than me sharing everything that's on my heart.

Desiree Brown: 12:26

So I need to know what God's heart is and that, um, man, when, when it doesn't have like, and I see the impacts that, that first thing that happens in the morning, and then I see the impacts of it throughout the day and I'm like, uh, and I mean there are. I have tried to incorporate some ways to like, get back on track if it happens, but, man, when it doesn't happen, you really feel that thing. So, in any case, I think that is maybe the one of the lessons is to regard yourself with the same level of integrity and accountability and importance and consideration that you do other people, because you, you, you good too like it's worth it for you to to be able to do the things that you know you need to do in a day and, I think, recognizing what it is.

Vernon Brown: 13:18

I mean, you know, we you often hear about spiritual warfare and everything's not the devil or demons or whatever. But I think there's also a very real nature within us that, aside from the devil, aside from all of this stuff, to where we just want to be comfortable, we just want to do what we want to do.

Desiree Brown: 13:37

Yeah, one lay a bit longer, exactly.

Vernon Brown: 13:39

And so that's always at odds with us pursuing excellence, and so that's always a weight that we're going to have to carry. The question is how, how consistently, are you going to lift it and continue to move forward? And then, when you do see yourself slip, are you aware enough to recognize it and to see it? Cause I didn't see it yesterday, but I saw it when we started talking about the topics of for today. Like I saw it when I was like, oh, let me wait a little bit longer to get up, and I got up at six, oh, two versus five, 30. I got out of bed and then everything started kind of going, getting away from me. But when you recognize it, then what do you do? Because it starts out, this is a part of a larger life change.

Desiree Brown: 14:25

I want to make.

Vernon Brown: 14:25

It starts out with hey, I got up late. Um, then that turned into the habit. Well then, because I was rushing, I ran out the house and I didn't get a breakfast. So I'm driving here to the well where there's a McDonald's, there's a Burger King, there's a Sonic, all in which are right there. Well, let me swing over there. No, I already let go of the rope once. Today. I'm not going to do that.

Vernon Brown: 14:40

And then all of these things start to contribute to the cycle we have of starting something and never finishing it or seeing it until completion. And so you start to go into this wave of I've started my new habits, it's looking good, and then I go back down. I started this new habit, it's looking good, and then it goes back down. Was thinking about on the way.

Vernon Brown: 15:01

Here is, we often have a thought process of rewarding ourself for good behavior.

Vernon Brown: 15:09

So I ate well, or I exercised every day so I can get ice cream, or I did such, I woke up on time, and so I can sleep in a little bit longer because it's the weekend.

Vernon Brown: 15:20

And I think we should certainly reward ourselves for our growth away from our comfort, but I'm not sure it should be as a result of doing the things that we said we were going to do, or living a life around integrity as much as it should be. If you're going to do it around rewarding your consistency, I've done this for a week straight. Therefore, I can take a one opportunity break off of this habit, um, and and so the reason why I say all this is is so you know, I've been working out consistently here at the. Well, I didn't work out yesterday and so, um, it was like, well, I've done all week, or I've done all I've. I've been here consistently. I don't have to do this one day, which sounds good and sounds like it makes a lot of sense. However, in all reality, we got four classes, or we got four days of classes a week, yeah, so when you zoom out and you say, well, you worked out three times in a seven day period, yeah, you don't get a cookie for that.

Desiree Brown: 16:19

Literal, literally, yeah, literally literally.

Vernon Brown: 16:21

But so often we allow our minor steps of integrity to be something that we believe is reward worthy, not recognizing that that reward isn't a reward, that reward is a seed that will grow up less integrity later. And so it's not to say you're always going to be at that level where you can't literally handle a reward at that moment, but recognizing where you are in the process of creating or forming a habit. To say, I'm not trying to get healthier, get a blood pressure down or or find this biometric, I'm trying to instill a habit that's going to become my new norm and so, therefore, I need to govern myself a little bit differently until I get to the point where it becomes something consistent. Yeah, does that make?

Desiree Brown: 17:09

sense it does and, um, what it made me think of me think of, is I'm shaking my head because I'm like, oh God, you're amazing. In my prayer time this week I told you in the last episode. I told you about what was said about like priority things. Prioritize the things that only you can do, delegate the rest. Prioritize the things that only you can do, delegate the rest. But one of the other things was and when you get off track, quickly recognize it and repent or go back the other way, like go back to where?

Desiree Brown: 17:45

get back on track. And the thing is, we're human right, so there are it. Just because we're're human, failure is just something that happens yeah and so it's not the.

Desiree Brown: 18:00

It's not that sometimes you'll miss your alarm, it's not that sometimes you'll snooze, but it's like oh, oh, oh, I just hit snooze. Let me get up now. Yep, like I don't have to wait until the snooze goes off for me to get up. I, I can get up now. Or, oh, man, I ate. I forgot I was supposed to be eating healthy in this meal. Okay, but there's another meal coming, so get back on track for that thing. Or maybe it's okay, I've used up all of my calories for the day. I might just have to sit this one out, you know. Whatever the case is, but there is always an option to get back on track before you are completely derailed.

Vernon Brown: 18:38

And I love and I hate that you use the word integrity because I think, when you, when you align your decision-making with that of integrity, it makes that decision point a little bit different. So I'm the kind of person where I usually count up the costs and I'm like, eh, it's worth it, let me go through with it. But let's take the example of oh I forgot, I was supposed to be eating healthy and I'm sitting here with this triple cheeseburger with a large shake and large fries. Me and myself would be like, oh man, I forgot, I'm supposed to eat healthy, healthy well, I already bought it.

Desiree Brown: 19:13

I mean, let me put this thing down.

Vernon Brown: 19:16

But and that's easy when you're just decision making but when you said, how's your integrity?

Vernon Brown: 19:22

Uh, integrity says, when I recognize I'm making a mistake, I stop.

Vernon Brown: 19:28

Yeah, because integrity with a bowl of food is one thing, but if we we're going to be honest integrity when you're in the room with someone you're not supposed to be in the room with, how does that then play the integrity game? It's the same thing. You can't say that you're going to finish this plate of food because you're already here now, versus when you're in a sticky situation with somebody who's not your wife or your husband or your spouse and not to take it from zero to 100, but the integrity that you birth and that you create in the simple dark moments and the simple moments of what you eat and how you govern your tongue and how you govern how you live your life, is the same integrity that you're going to live when you get out there in the wild with the bigger issues of life. And so I hate the way that you use that word because it calls me to a bigger standard, because I've always been okay with okay. Well, you know, I, I can't, okay, I accept this, I'm, I'm fine with the consequences.

Desiree Brown: 20:26

Let me go through with it.

Vernon Brown: 20:27

But wisdom says that this is that, and if I can trust you with the small things, that I can trust you over the big things, but if I can't trust you with this plate of food, then how can I put you in that situation over there? And I think, as we're asking for more and we put the focus back on who we are, versus what God is not answering the prayer for or what someone else is holding us back from, we look and say are we prepared for it? What someone else is holding us back from, when we look and say are we prepared for it, it's these little decisions we make on a daily basis that prove and are the receipts of what we can be trusted with in real life yeah, oh man that's your fault.

Desiree Brown: 21:04

You brought that up, that's that's why you small words well, I mean, that's, that's real, that's deep, that's heavy and it's like really yeah.

Desiree Brown: 21:17

So there's things I gotta work on too. Um, and I think it can come from even like a. It comes from a relational standpoint too, where sometimes things happen that we don't like someone may have said something or done something to us and our reaction is immediate yeah, and it comes quick. The tongue is like like sharp and cutting and all that kind of stuff, and it may it feels good in the moment because you're just like, oh, got it out, but at the same time it it wasn't. That's not this talking about the standard. That's not the standard integrity.

Vernon Brown: 21:53

you use the word the integrity, the integrity of the situation has been compromised.

Vernon Brown: 21:57

I think about even our arguments, like when I have an issue because you don't usually have like issues that you're like hey, I hate that you did this. Not that you don't have them, but you don't usually bring them up. If somebody's going to bring them up, it's probably me. Like when I think about even how I, how I talk to you or how I bring up problems or issues. There are times where it's like there's a nicer way to say this or there's a more loving way to respond or a more patient way to respond, but today I choose violence. Like, but integrity says that's not all right, that's not okay, and that creates the environment, or that creates the I guess environment may be the best word but the environment of a relationship that I fear more than anything Like.

Vernon Brown: 22:42

I always say that I never want to look back 20 years from now and say the woman who I've created is not the woman who I wanted to marry, and what I mean by that is like when I met you, it was a soft and a fragile, and not as soft as in weak, but a to be cared for and to be loved, and I never want to look back and be like well, now you're like a rock, because you've had to deal with me and my harshness, because I wasn't able to control how I spoke or control how I esteemed or valued you through conversation. But the integrity of it should say in the moment, do you still care about that In the moment? What habit are you creating in the moment? Are you able to, even if you let it out? Oh my gosh, I did what I didn't want to do. Let me go back and apologize.

Vernon Brown: 23:30

No, I need to go back and fix this and it may not be something I can fix in the moment, but but I need to. That that wasn't right and I feel so bad about that that I need to change it. And I think that's the integrity that I say we, because I don't want it to only be me. I'd say that's the integrity that I'm being called to, but I think we're all being called to to so value the tomorrow and to so value what this will turn into, that you're not even willing to make a mistake with it today. Does that make sense?

Desiree Brown: 24:06

It does, and I think it goes back to your quote about you know who you who you are now as a result of yesterday's receipt.

Vernon Brown: 24:17

I said it wrong, but the receipts you have of today are the result of yesterday's decisions, something like that. It sounded good. Go back and listen to it. I said it right the first time, whatever it was.

Desiree Brown: 24:27

Yeah, but I mean in everything, and so I do think that it's maybe a time for pause and maybe a time for reflection, maybe a time to just take inventory of, like, who are you right now? And you may like it, you may not like it, it's just, but if you never asked the question, you won't be able to, you know, continue or correct. So it's really important to self-assess.

Vernon Brown: 24:54

I don't even think you can ask who you are right now, because I think that's still through flowery glasses. I think it has to be no, I think it has to be. Who do you want to be?

Desiree Brown: 25:05

Like who is the best version of yourself?

Vernon Brown: 25:08

And then you compare that against who you are today. That makes sense, Because, truth be told, pair that against who you are today. That makes sense Because, truth be told, there's nothing stopping you from being who you want to be today. Now, there may be something stopping you from having everything that that person has today, but if we're talking just about describing the kind of person who walks in the room when the best version of you walks in, there's nothing stopping you but your decisions, your consistent decisions on who that is. And so if there's a difference between who you wish to be and who you are, why is that? And what decisions are you making? Not consecutively, but consistently. That leads to that gap either growing or closing. I think Kobe Bryant um, I think it was Kobe Bryant. Might've been somebody else, but the language and it makes me think it's Kobe Bryant.

Vernon Brown: 25:59

He said well, you'll never. Somebody told him well, you're never going to be perfect. And he said I'm going to cut that. I'm going to cut the distance between me and perfect, but cut that MFR in half every day, though. So, even if you're this close from being perfect, you may never get there, but you can cut that gap in half time and time again with every decision that you've made. And I think sometimes, when people say you can't be perfect, that's both an excuse and a cop-out for your lack of desire to try. And so, if this is going to be actionable and not just die in word but live through action and in truth you have to try and you have to put forth effort and you're going to fail, like you said, but repent, turn away from that thing.

Vernon Brown: 26:45

I think from our perspective, that standard comes from God because of our belief.

Desiree Brown: 27:00

And wherever you may be, or whatever belief system you have, you check it against that. But for us, god is our standard and he does everything with excellence and he does, everything is with and he does, everything is with, with intention, everything is with purpose. And so I think a lot of times we just kind of walk through life very haphazardly, not with no intention, just out here, just doing things I know I'm very guilty of that myself and so it just, it requires, it requires some shifting, it requires some changing and and just aligning with the standard that is set, because the standard doesn't change Even as, as we change more towards it or more away from it, the standard doesn't change. I think that that's the importance and the beauty of, of, of God, and our relationship with him is like it's, it's, it's still, it's still here and we're still striving, and it, it, it's. You know it's actually literally beyond our reach in this world, but we're actively, like you said, cutting it in half, cutting it in half. We're supposed to be actively working towards it every single day.

Desiree Brown: 28:15

And so today, this version of myself, I should never see this version of myself again. I should always be actively working to become a better version, and I know I haven't done that to do to help close that gap between um, the, the, the way, the ways in which I've been operating now versus the ways in which you know god sees me. So, man, this one is tough because I am like I'm feeling real convicted in this particular man, I'm like, okay, I gotta go.

Vernon Brown: 28:55

I feel like I need to go pray this is why I can't let her do the intro anymore oh, my goodness, but.

Desiree Brown: 29:02

But it's good, yeah, and and I think that, um and I appreciate the correction we kind of talked about this in the last episode, about that grace that we're given to start making the the better decisions, the better choices and cutting out the things that no longer serve us.

Vernon Brown: 29:24

We have the opportunity to do it first, and if we don't, yeah, and I think that's the the, the, the perfection of the fatherhood of Christ and God, for him to prepare you for what's coming, I think, back to our kids just started school after going through a summer of staying up late and doing what they want and kind of having a good time, and the good parent in us said, ok, well, let's start reeling this thing back in and getting you on a routine so it's not so jarring when you get there and you actually have an opportunity to succeed, because then you'll show up as your best self versus your tired self or your groggy self or your upset self when school starts and I think you know God, being the perfect father, does that for us as well to say, hey, life is about to get real, whether you know it or not.

Vernon Brown: 30:12

Like you may not be spending your time with me in prayer so I can show you these things, but even if you're not in prayer as often as you should, stuff is about to happen. Get your life together so you're ready, so that you can live through that with grace and gracefully. Or you know there's another path where you know I'm not going to throw you into the fire without any preparation. So you can either do this on your own or I can help you and send your butt to bed early.

Desiree Brown: 30:41

I mean it's making me think. I wish I could, I wish I'd do it verbatim. I need to start memorizing scripture again. But um, about, like um, and when.

Desiree Brown: 30:53

I think it's in reference to the being, the vine and the branches, and it's like the ones that don't produce fruit will be cut off and then the ones that do produce fruit will still be pruned, both of those things being a cutting process.

Desiree Brown: 31:08

And so you know we have I will speak for myself, I have this thing. I don't, I don't want to experience pain, I don't want to experience being cut. But it's also like you can't become more fruitful if you don't cut off the things that are dead, or the overgrowth, or the things that no longer serve, because, in order for the vine to continue to fruit and to continue to produce, if all that energy is going to stuff that's dead, it's pulling away from the fruitfulness that's supposed to be happening. Scripture personally. But it's so true and it's related to this conversation. But it's so true and it is related to this conversation, you know, like some of the, some of the habits that we have developed over time or have allowed to kind of grow in our lives, it's like, uh, cut, cut that because there's in order to produce more you can't do that anymore.

Vernon Brown: 32:11

It's John 15.

Vernon Brown: 32:12

It says I am the true vine and my father is the gardener, I being Christ. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes. So if you don't bear fruit, you get cut off, but if you do bear fruit, you're pruned. You're still cut, but cut with love and cut in a way that's going to stimulate growth so that it will be even more fruitful. I'm going to read that again I am the true vine and my father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you.

Vernon Brown: 32:53

No branch can bear fruit by itself. It must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers. Such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish. This is where the organ comes out. This is the part that we quote in the church.

Desiree Brown: 33:24

Oh, we love this part. We forget the other part. We don't like to get pruned. We don't like to get pruned, we just like this part.

Vernon Brown: 33:30

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my father's glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

Desiree Brown: 33:46

Man, oh man, cut either way. You're going to get cut either way. But I think it is through our connection to Christ, through our connection with God, through Christ, that we begin to recognize the things that we get, we understand the standard better and we understand a direction better and we are able to recognize the things that we need to get rid of are able to recognize the things that we need to get rid of, and I think you often get the question of why does God allow difficult or bad things to happen to good people?

Vernon Brown: 34:26

And I think you have to recognize the posture and the position of the scripture.

Vernon Brown: 34:30

So, in our side yard, we had some trees that were really overgrown, and so I do what I do and I go, fire up my chainsaw and chop some stuff back, and the posture in which I chop things off that I no longer desire to have a relationship with or to be connected to me in any way is with a lot less care than me pruning the ferns we have up front that I desire to continue to grow. Both of them to someone who's looking on from the outside have been cut. But the care in which I will find the damaged ends of the ferns versus just cutting damaged and good, it don't matter, you just on the walkway die is different.

Vernon Brown: 35:12

And I think we have to have the maturity to look upon God's face with that type of eye to see. Both of those are getting cut, but the care and the love that's happening over here ensures that you can still grow. I'm just cutting off the dead ends, whereas over here you're being cast into the fire, and those two things are different.

Desiree Brown: 35:30

Right, because I mean, he's our Lord, but he's also our father and it's with that father's love, that father's heart and I know sometimes that's difficult for people, especially if their earthly father has not been a good model of what a father should be. But just think of like the best father ever. That's God, and it's all about love. And so if there's anything that is being pruned from us or taken away from us, we have to trust and know that it is. There's something good that's supposed to come out of it.

Vernon Brown: 36:06

There's scriptures for that too, and I think that goes back to the receipts, like yeah, at the end of the day, there'll be times where there may be things that you value, that are removed from your life. But when you look at those receipts, maybe I didn't acquire those things in the right spirit, or maybe I wasn't supposed to have those and maybe I went out on my own and did that. And the receipts will show that.

Vernon Brown: 36:27

But, we only like to look at the hurtful part of the decision, but not what got us there. That resulted us getting my situation or my, this friendship is falling apart and it's so horrible, it's so bad. Well, maybe God called you out of that a while ago and it was hurting or harming you, and that's why we're here now. But it's much easier to look at the situation and say, oh, this was horrible, this was bad, I don't like God anymore. Well, maybe, but more likely he's being a good father and trying to protect you for something that you don't even see coming.

Desiree Brown: 36:58

Yeah, yeah, that's why it's important to build that relationship, so you get to know his character and get to know how he operates, so that when, when people interact with you in a certain way, you don't turn your back on god because he allowed it to happen. Um, I think that has become more and more common. Where people leave the church, they might be like I don't believe in god anymore because he wouldn't allow this thing to happen. But it's like, but it always brings into question but did you do you know really how he does? Like yeah, it hurts. It doesn't take away the fact that things hurt and that they're painful. He never promised us that there would be no hurt and pain in our life, but he did promise that he would always be with us. He promised that he would always love us. He promised that all things work together for the good of those that love god and are called according to his purpose. So, anyway, that got veryy Um, and that was not the intention you saw my integrity.

Vernon Brown: 37:59

It's all your fault.

Desiree Brown: 38:02

But bringing it back to the conversation about comfort and about what we have allowed ourselves to become comfortable with. We have, I will say in this moment that we have you and I, I think, based on our conversation today have become way more comfortable with not practicing integrity than we would like now to fix it, To undo as much as we can, to get back to a place of integrity Excuse me and then not to allow the choices and the habits that we make going forward to get us off course. If we ever find ourselves off course, quickly recognizing it and getting back on track.

Vernon Brown: 38:54

And then I think integrity starts with you, like integrity starts with the words you tell yourself that no one else can hear.

Vernon Brown: 39:01

If you can feel connected to the promises you make yourself and the commitments you make yourself, then it's so much easier for you to be connected to the words that you speak to others.

Vernon Brown: 39:13

So often we try to work from outside in, whereas if we change who we are to ourself, where there is no accountability because it's just you and your mind that changes who you are in your heart, which will reveal itself through the truth of your words. I think that makes sense. Yeah, I had notes, but I don't even think we thank you so much for joining us for this part two, conversation about comfort. I hope it's challenged you. I hope it's opened your mind to look at yourself and say am I who I want to be and what decisions am I making on a consistent basis that have resulted in these receipts I have in my hand as to my decisions that I've made in the past? I hope you continue on this journey with us, as we continue talking about comfort and talking about the danger, quite frankly, of living and staying in a comfortable life. We hope you continue to join us and we hope to see you next week at Conversations at the Well. Bye.