Desiree Brown: 0:00

Hello and welcome back to Conversations at the. Well, if you caught our last episode, you will probably recognize we did not finish talking about the topic of finishing. How crazy is that. How ironic is that. Yeah, so here we are back for part two of finishing strong. We talked about finishing, but not finishing strong, so we're going to try to dive into that part of things. Join us for this Conversation.

Vernon Brown: 0:26

Well, see you there, hey there and welcome back to conversation. That's the well. That literally just hit me that we didn't finish talking about finishing but part two we're gonna finish and we're gonna talk about the topic of finishing strong and I think, as we are on the heels, I guess we can kind of say we're still on the heels of the olympics. That's a really, really good conversation to have because, as we were on the heels, I guess we can kind of say we're still on the heels of the Olympics. That's a really, really good conversation to have, because, as we were looking at some of the track and field events, both Sha'Carri Richardson, I think she got silver in her individual race but then in the relay she wore gold.

Vernon Brown: 0:58

And then Noah Lyles, in the 200 got burnt because he had COVID, allegedly, I think he just lost and got conveniently sick, but anyways, but in the 100 meter he won that. But what's interesting about both of these individuals is it's very seldom that they start ahead. Yeah, they are well, I think to be historic bad starters, but they finish really strong, yeah, and when you're watching the end of those races and those sprints you can see everyone else starts really strong out the blocks, but at some point they start to hit their top end speed and start fading, and it seems like those two are just in third gear and they're still speeding up towards the finish line, and I think that's something that we can learn as far as what it looks like to not just finish but to finish really strong.

Desiree Brown: 1:44

Yeah, I think those are really great examples because, I mean, watching those races was just absolutely insane because it's like an emotional play, because you're like, oh my gosh, like come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. And then all of a sudden, like they just take off like whoa, like it's mind blowing to watch them do their thing. Whoa, like it's mind blowing to watch them do their thing. And of course, this is in a physical race. But in the race of life, how are we to finish strong? Like, where do we get our, our energy, our, our um, where do we get our third gear from?

Desiree Brown: 2:18

And I was talking to one of my good friends this week about finishing strong and um, and she was so encouraging to me because I've been going through some things personally and um was sharing those things and she encouraged me. She said you know what You're, you're doing a good job, you, you do your, you are finishing strong. Because she brought up that scripture that talks about the race is not given to the swift or the strong, but to the one who endures till the end. I think that's the wording at how it goes, and I know you're gonna pull up your bible app. That's fine, cool, please do um, but I thought that that was such uh.

Desiree Brown: 2:59

She was talking about the endurance. Excuse me, what's going on my voice? Let me take some water. She was talking about the endurance excuse me, what's going on my voice? Let me take some water. She was talking about the endurance of finishing and how finishing, or endurance in and of itself, is one of those things where endurance actually means that there was something that you were doing, that exerted a lot of effort and you actually you may have gotten physically and mentally, emotionally, spiritually tired okay but you continued on in spite of endurance doesn't mean you were just strong the whole way.

Desiree Brown: 3:41

Endurance means you just continue to keep going yeah even if it meant you had to to crawl to the end, you kept going we have.

Vernon Brown: 3:52

We have a friend who's running a full marathon, yeah, and she was talking about her training and how full marathons like 26 miles, right, 6.2, and she said the most she'll ever train is, I think, 20, 20, because after that it's like there's no amount of training that can really help, like it's just about you and your mind and pushing through. And I think that's the point where we think of tasks and we think of processes as things, that we only go as far as our motivation lasts, as far as our motivation lasts. But if you're going to do anything meaningful, you're putting yourself in a bad position if you're only thinking that you're going to have to rely upon motivation, because motivation will run out yeah.

Vernon Brown: 4:33

But what's going to continue pushing you and driving you, not if you run out of motivation, but when that happens?

Desiree Brown: 4:40

And I think it's also interesting to talk about finishing strong and to talk about endurance, because in order to do either or both, there is training that has to happen, and so it's in the smaller decisions, it's in the smaller habits, the things that you don't think of as like a big deal, but it's in doing those things consistently that helps to build your endurance, because when you're trying like, let's say, from a physical perspective, if you're trying to build endurance as a runner, you don't just sprint all the time.

Desiree Brown: 5:20

yeah, in fact, that literally is going to set you up for failure so you have to do a combination of, like sprints, of long runs, of um, what's it called intervals. You have to do, um. You have to do those things in order to build your endurance so you can be faster for your short races or strong enough to finish your long ones. So I think that it's kind of I guess we can learn in the physical how to finish strong in other areas of our life as well of like, sometimes it takes a big push to do a thing and sometimes it's like, okay, your motivation has run out, but it's continuing to move and put continuing to make progress in that thing.

Vernon Brown: 6:10

So so key principles. I think number one is recognizing that motivation isn't enough. Yeah, it's going to take endurance. It's going to take you being able to push through when you no longer feel like it.

Desiree Brown: 6:22

I think we can agree on that.

Vernon Brown: 6:24

I think principle number two is understanding and acknowledging that it's not how you start to go back to your scripture, but it's the endurance to keep going. I think that leads us into a question of what is it that we can do to allow us to have the endurance to keep going when we don't feel like it, cause I don't feel like it.

Desiree Brown: 6:59

Yeah.

Vernon Brown: 6:59

I get tired, I I do the big push, and from the big push I get the visible changes that I'm looking for, but then I fall off, and so so how do I not fall off?

Desiree Brown: 7:15

how do you not fall off? It's a good question, and I guess I'm questioning that question with is the intent to not fall off or is the intent to keep going even after you falling?

Vernon Brown: 7:35

off Because I think for me and perhaps some of the listeners, when you fall off, that replays the failures of the past, which makes you say, well, why am I even trying? And then, you end up defeated, but what I think I hear you saying is, instead of that you should approach it with. I know this is going to happen Now. How do I build the muscle to get back on the horse when I've gotten knocked off, when I've fallen off or when I've decided to get off under my own accord?

Desiree Brown: 8:13

my own energy. I think that is endurance. I think it's the recognition of, although we're striving towards becoming more perfect, we ain't there yet. So there will be failures, there will be flaws, there will be errors. So when that happens, what do you do to get back in there and keep on going? And so I think about it. We were we were talking about this fast in the middle of a fast right now, and there was a mistake that was made. I was like, well, I guess I'm done with the fast now. And that was. I was like, well, okay, I thought that was very interesting because you know, know, in one of our previous episodes we had just talked about we need to start screening what we talk about.

Desiree Brown: 9:09

We just talked about. You know, we had talked about the integrity, we had talked about um repentance and what that looks like and what that means. And I guess in this, very in this particular way, it's like okay, so you messed up. It happens we try not to, and especially, it wasn't like, it wasn't even like an intentional mess it up. It wasn't like, oh yeah, I'm about to go in on this insert thing here. This was more like, oh man, I accidentally slipped up, and so there was a decision point. There is a decision point of do I continue to do what I set out to do or do I just say that, messed up, I'm done that.

Desiree Brown: 9:55

So finishing well or finishing strong would have been like, man, I messed that thing up. But here we go. Let me you know I'm pushing, pushing away this thing, that I've recognized it. Or maybe I didn't realize it until after I finished that particular meal. But now that I have finished the meal I realized, oh man, I got to get back on. So maybe I'll add a day and just to make up, make up for that day, or maybe I'll just continue with the rest of the days that we have going on to finish that thing out, and I think that would have been finishing to finish that thing out, and I think that would have been finishing. No, that would have been finishing strong, similar to Sha'Carri and Noah that you mentioned. It might be said they might. They might've been at the beginning Like man I diminished in their mind.

Desiree Brown: 10:38

Man, I didn't start like. These folks are like crushing me right now, like so if they get all into their head and they're looking at their position at that point that they ought to, they've already lost the race. But if they're like, oh man, like all these people are, are are in head of me, but here we go, they don't know what's coming for them. Like there's like a, there's like a talking up of themselves, I don't know what happens in their head. I would really be interested to like to ask them like, what makes you go into that next gear and just blow out your competition? So I think there's a mental thing of it doesn't matter where I am right now, I know where I'm trying to be, so let me go get, let me go get it, I got to get after it kind of thing. I don't know if that made sense.

Vernon Brown: 11:25

It almost sounds like the pursuit of finishing is phase one, where you're hopeful and you're hoping things work out. But once you hit that first failure or key decision point, that's where you decide whether you're going to finish strong. Maybe it's just for an hour, Maybe it's just for a day until the next decision point comes. But that's really where the rubber meets the road, where you have to determine how important is this to me? What am I willing to sacrifice? Am I willing to continue down this path towards not just finishing because finishing, as we talked about before, and a lot of cases only 95% or 90% but finishing strong, which is enduring all the way till the end?

Desiree Brown: 12:03

Yeah, yeah, I think I think that's it. Um, I was thinking about some interactions that I've been having recently with people and how everything in me wants to just act as badly as I feel people have been acting towards me. But I recognize well, there's the question of, first of all, what does that serve and who does that serve? It was absolutely make me feel good to give back that same energy, like we're going to're gonna match oh, we matching energies now, but it's not right. It's not right because that is like my, uh, my flesh.

Desiree Brown: 12:55

It's a word, but that's my, it's my desire to, um, let them feel some of the hurt that is coming my way, that they're giving me. That's really what I would want to do, but it's not the right thing to do. And so I think about that. I think about that situation and how sometimes it just comes, sometimes my will or my desire to do the right thing isn't strong enough to keep me from doing the right thing. Or wait, keep me from doing the wrong thing, rather, and so sometimes you just kind of like Get what you get.

Desiree Brown: 13:39

This is just. It just can't Sorry. It came out and then there's still a decision point. There all right decision point?

Desiree Brown: 13:49

the decision point is do you stick in it? Do you just be like, well, came out, I said what I said and I meant what I said, or what it was this face, are you feeling convicted? Yeah, okay, like I said what I said and I meant it. But then there's the other decision of you know what I did, say what I said, and in that, in that moment, I didn't mean it. Like, if I'm being honest with you, I meant what I said, but I also recognize it was not the right thing, it was not the right and I apologize to you for coming off so strong.

Desiree Brown: 14:28

You know, my position really should be to be more loving towards you and more in love.

Desiree Brown: 14:33

Including that kindness and patience and all of the things that are outlined is like the biblical type of love, that first Corinthians 13 type of love. Like I didn't do that in this moment and I'm sorry, um, and and also asking for forgiveness in that, and I think the person on the receiving end of that hopefully they, hopefully they're able to receive that and recognize that. You know, we all, we all make mistakes. Like it came up in a church meeting I said, said I was like the way I was feeling you know what I'm talking about right Like there's a group that I lead and there's so many things on my plate. It's like we've talked about on this podcast a lot and so I have made a stronger stance of not taking on, like planning, some of the things that I know other people can do. And so in doing that and trying to articulate my stance, I think I came off way too hard, because I have had a history of people not understanding how serious I am, that I'm not doing more you made it clear that you were serious.

Desiree Brown: 15:41

I made it very clear, but I also came off way too strong and I had to. Thankfully, holy Spirit was like oh, fix it. So I was able to say listen, I'm sorry, this is where I'm coming from. I do. I have a lot on my plate right now and doing. I would love to do this, but I can't just take your ideas and um and and just add it to my plate right now. If you want to do it, I empower you and encourage you to do the thing that you're asking to do, but I just can't do it right now. That would have been a better way of articulating where I was and where I am, um, but without like coming off like I ain't doing it, cause I did say I ain't doing it. It was crazy and I guess you know for me that was actually out of character, um, cause I usually am a lot more sensitive without how my things come out.

Vernon Brown: 16:38

And I mean you talked about the other day, about you always raising your hand and saying hey, I'll take this on. I do this.

Desiree Brown: 16:42

Yeah, and I'm trying to get out of that and being more strategic in the things I do raise my hands for. So, um, yeah and anyway, that was just a. That was a an example of I think I finished strong. Finishing strong isn't about not making mistakes. Finishing strong is about whether you made a mistake or not, whether you hit all the marks or not, getting to the end In a way that honors your best self and, in our case, who we believe in God.

Vernon Brown: 17:32

And so I even think there's a different version of that, because, as we're talking, our personality and of our life finishing strong is about how you address and deal with the failures or the opportunities or decision points that come up, and continuing to choose the right thing versus choosing violence.

Desiree Brown: 17:52

Did you choose violence? Yeah.

Vernon Brown: 17:55

Because I choose violence far too much.

Desiree Brown: 18:07

Far, far too much, Well, too much. Well, what's opposite? Love, oh I wow. I didn't expect that answer. I don't know peace, joy. I don't know something else but love, now that's.

Vernon Brown: 18:11

That's the thing, right there so the words we've been throwing out here over the past I think four or five weeks have been integrity, discipline and now love. Yeah, we need some softball words like kindness or niceness.

Desiree Brown: 18:27

Flowers bloom and yeah, but that's not what's coming through on this, on this, in these conversations. So I guess for you, now that we've kind of talked about finishing strong, do you have an example of something that you have finished strong?

Vernon Brown: 18:46

that I was successful in yeah, does it.

Desiree Brown: 18:52

I hope there's, something.

Vernon Brown: 18:56

Finishing strong.

Desiree Brown: 19:07

Okay.

Vernon Brown: 19:08

Okay. So no, give me a second, I'm sure, let me think. Finishing strong, um. Finishing strong, um, I think I think I finished strong with our children, and what I mean by that is, um, I think there's always a decision point as a parent of do I, do I leave situations in which probably more anger than should have, more anger than was appropriate, came through? Do I leave that? Do I go back and fix it? And I think, as it pertains to our children, I've done a good job of finishing strong from the perspective of when those opportunities come, being sure to go back and apologize, or being sure to go back and explain why, or being sure to go back and fixing those times in which I'm wrong.

Vernon Brown: 20:03

I would think that would be one scenario which I've been pretty consistent in finishing strong.

Desiree Brown: 20:09

Hey, if you aren't finishing strong in any other area, I think that's a really good area to finish strong in. Yeah, so that matters. A really good area to finish strong in. Yeah, so that that matters a lot. Um, and I guess now, I guess, looking forward, are there opportunities in your life to finish strong right now? That's a that's a close question. Yeah.

Vernon Brown: 20:32

I think if there was, if, if I wanted to choose one area to finish strong, and I would like it to be in our relationship and our communication.

Vernon Brown: 20:44

That's always something that I that stuck out as something I want to do better at and be better at, even like when we were talking last episode, just about, like, the clothing rack, like we have a lot of stuff like dumb stuff, like that that comes up. Yeah, but it's always dumb stuff. Yeah, but I would rather be your dumb stuff than my dumb stuff we both got dumb stuff.

Desiree Brown: 21:04

We have. It's a you. Yeah, we both come to the table with our own things. So but.

Vernon Brown: 21:10

But it would be just just feeling more compelled and driven to finish strong, and I don't know I'm almost making finishing strong a synonym for resolving conflict when decision points come, and so, through that lens, I think that would be where I would want to put the most effort towards and just fixing it or apologizing for it or communicating about it, versus just getting upset about stuff.

Desiree Brown: 21:38

And I think, I think it makes a lot of sense in our, in our marriage relationship, um, and our personal relationships. But you know, we spent a good deal of time talking about, like, our professional pursuits as well, and what finishing strong looks like in that Um, or even even if we bring up Sha'Carri and Noah again, is it Sha'Carri or Sha'Carri, sha'carri, sha'carri.

Vernon Brown: 22:03

She got a gold medal. Put some respect on her, I know.

Desiree Brown: 22:05

That's why I had to correct myself. Wait a minute, I think I'm saying that wrong.

Vernon Brown: 22:08

Don't be messing up our future guests.

Desiree Brown: 22:10

But Miss Richardson, um, miss, miss richardson, I'll say that. So, with with them, love doesn't seem to like that's, it doesn't seem as relevant because that's an a physical thing, um, and in work it doesn't. There can be some relevance in our professional life or professional relationships that stem out of love, but how do we finish strong in our things that are less relational?

Vernon Brown: 22:49

Yeah, I think. I think, going back to the scenario Well, which is probably a bad example as we talk about this but there's a finish line. There is a defined finish line in a race in which it's your goal to get there the quickest or to get there the best way that you can. And I think when we're talking about like very defined tasks, it goes back to what we talked about last episode. What is the finish line? What are the requirements? What does it look like to truly finish? And getting there?

Vernon Brown: 23:25

And I think too far and too often we're like those other racers where 75% down the track, we're shutting it down or we stop completely because we don't think we can make it, we decide not to make it or we say this is good enough for whatever reason. And so I think we have to be able to say this is the finish line and use the integrity in ourself to say we're going to get there and we're going to finish the race and we're going to make it all the way to the end and whatever it's, whatever is required to get there, we are willing to make that sacrifice because of that integrity we have in our words and our commitments.