Vernon Brown: 0:00

Good morning, good morning, good morning and welcome to another episode of Conversations at the. Well, I'm here with my beautiful bride, desiree how you doing baby.

Desireé Brown: 0:08

Hi, I'm good. How are you?

Vernon Brown: 0:09

I'm doing good, and today we are going to get this thing started back again with a topic that's been kind of near and dear to our heart. Who?

Desireé Brown: 0:16

are you?

Vernon Brown: 0:16

Oh, I'm Vernon hey hey y'all. My name is Vernon Brown, but today we're going to be talking about the responsibility of yes, so stick around, grab you a cup of coffee whatever your drink of choice may be. It may be something stronger today, you never know.

Desireé Brown: 0:34

but we'll see you at the well, hey y'all, hey, hey, love.

Vernon Brown: 0:36

How are you?

Desireé Brown: 0:36

I'm good.

Vernon Brown: 0:37

It's been a while.

Desireé Brown: 0:38

It's been a really long time. I think we last recorded it in March.

Vernon Brown: 0:41

I got receipts. Let me see I got receipts. Keep going. It was in March. I'm going to bring up YouTube.

Desireé Brown: 0:47

It was before our anniversary, so it's been a while and there's been a lot of things that have been going on and so I don't know it's been, I've been. I today I was like I let's go, let's just record. So I'm going, let's just record, so I'm gonna give you the a heads up that we are gonna be winging it a little bit today, but that is okay, because the lord orders ordereth our step at this.

Vernon Brown: 1:12

Lord don't order, no foolishness no, it won't be. That it won't be our last one was four months ago yeah, that's crazy four months you've been slacking. No, I'm kidding, no, it's been a lot going on.

Desireé Brown: 1:22

I mean, um, for those that are in the local area or those are connected to us in like real life. You know, we've been, we've been growing some things we've been making babies over here y'all, we are expecting our very, our third child, and but our first girl, uh, in just a few weeks and so, so we are super, super excited about that I don't think we've talked about how that happened. How it happened.

Vernon Brown: 1:49

Well, maybe not how it happened, but what led up to it. Have we talked about that.

Desireé Brown: 1:53

We haven't talked about that. That is an episode.

Vernon Brown: 1:55

Put that in your back pocket.

Desireé Brown: 1:56

Okay, okay, all right, so, but yeah, I mean. So we're here.

Vernon Brown: 2:05

I am currently currently, I think I'm officially nine months pregnant. Is that it wait? What's your? Today is we're recording this on august 2nd, yeah, and your due date is when september 6th I'm 35 weeks today so you like I'm pregnant, if you was a turkey, the little red thing be popping out about to go down.

Desireé Brown: 2:17

Well, up, or you know, like out out, about to go out about to go out it's. It's gonna be a good thing I miss these yeah, me too. So this is, this is good. We've been um. So all of that stuff has been going on um, you all know we we have we started with a new church and so getting our footing there, oh, my gosh, is that the? Last time we talked. Yeah, there were massive changes at my job so much to catch up on massive changes at my job.

Desireé Brown: 2:44

So much to catch up on Massive changes at my job, and I have now switched jobs, like life has been, and you've been leaving everybody out to dry. Leaving y'all out to dry, but that's OK. We will not be able to catch you all up on everything that has happened. That's just going to be the summary.

Vernon Brown: 2:59

We're going to leave it at that. I just know this may be one of our last episodes without having like random baby screams in the back. Yeah, or just not, a not random baby crawling through or just being here bouncing on a knee, yeah, talking in the microphone, that might be happening.

Desireé Brown: 3:14

So, it's cool, but we're glad to be back. So, as I was thinking about what we should talk about today, it was actually something that you said, or something that you have been thinking about for some time, and so, um, you want to introduce the topic I want to hear you do it and I'll add color commentary.

Desireé Brown: 3:35

Okay, so the role the responsibility of yes, the responsibility of yes, and that sounds kind of weird, like where you just put the phrase out there like that. But um, we've kind of touched on it. Like when you are, when you commit to something, or when you say yes to something and you make the commitment that you're going to do something, it doesn't come with no strings right. There has to be. You're saying I am going to do this thing that I'm saying yes to.

Vernon Brown: 4:04

Okay, you're not doing a good job, I'm going to do it.

Vernon Brown: 4:06

So the responsibility of yes is like so I think there's so many things in our life that we want to see happen. There's so many dreams or goals that we have. If you want to be churchy about it, there's like the Lord is calling me to do X, y and Z and all these things that we hear. But where I was kind of coming from, or where it was maybe many conviction, maybe you can call a little bit of that for me was like I always like to say, I want to always be a person that will raise my hand and say yes.

Vernon Brown: 4:36

But the responsibility of yes doesn't just start when you feel like it starts, but it starts with what actionable steps are you taking after you've made the decision to accept the mission. And so a lot of times we're like, yes, I want a new job Well, what are you doing? Or yes, I want to be a better husband Well, what are you doing? And so the responsibility of saying yes in these areas comes along with different tasks and different things you need to do to prepare and to be ready for it. So I thought it would be a good, or we thought, or you thought. Rather, I thought it was a sermon, but anyways, it's still a sermon.

Vernon Brown: 5:08

It might not be because I might use it all. I might use up all the oil right now, but just talking about when we're trying, when we're walking into new seasons, what does it look like to say yes and what does it look like to truly walk into those things? So, for example, you can say yes to having a kid and do the fun stuff, but are you prepared? Like, how are you preparing yourself? Not just by buying stuff or assembling a nursery or whatever, but what skills do you need to have? What conversations do you and your significant other, baby mama, whatever it is need to have about how you're gonna bring this person into the world and what are some of those traits or personality items or skills or whatever you want to begin praying about even now, so that it becomes what you're looking for does that make sense?

Desireé Brown: 5:50

it does make sense and I kind of. I know we said we're going to save it for another episode, but I kind of feel like maybe just talking about how we got here as far as with the baby, not the actual act we're not going to discuss, you sure?

Vernon Brown: 6:06

you can? I made some graphic.

Desireé Brown: 6:07

I'm kidding you for your educational awareness? No but like face north for anyways, okay, go, try to drop game here well, I mean, I guess you know now because you have successfully, this is the third mission there you go, successfully completed. I'm good at it now so anyway, I think, bring us back please yeah I think it may, because this, this was a responsibility, this was, this was an, a call. If you will, yeah, um, because this started.

Vernon Brown: 6:49

I thought it was just netflix and I'm sorry, I'm back, okay.

Desireé Brown: 6:53

Okay, it's been a while he just needs to be on go ahead, baby.

Vernon Brown: 6:56

I'm sorry. So, as we mentioned, we're in august of 2025.

Desireé Brown: 6:58

This all started in march of 2024, and you might be saying, wow, that's a very long pregnancy. That is not how that worked.

Vernon Brown: 7:10

So, in march of 2024, um, we did have an episode about this kind of sort of.

Desireé Brown: 7:15

We talked about going to transformation we did, yes, but we didn't go into this part if you, we have a.

Vernon Brown: 7:22

We have a um podcast episode. We talk about going up to transformation church. If you haven't watched it, watch it.

Desireé Brown: 7:27

But this kind of all flows into that yeah, yeah, so um midway through the trip midway through the trip we were, we drove out there, we live in mississippi, we were going out to tulsa, oklahoma, um. And so, um, we, we were, we stopped in arkansas and all places of our.

Desireé Brown: 7:44

It was halfway kind of, and it was at the Presidential Library, which was cool or whatever. But they have a pretty nice restaurant there and it's one of those nicer places where people go for celebrations like bridal showers and I don't know, maybe I was going to say baby showers maybe, but like just kind of for celebratory type of things there. We just were there for lunch and but we're seeing these bridal parties and these girls with the bachelorette veils and I opened up my big mouth and all of this stuff now, but that was in august of 2024 okay so remember, I said it started in march.

Desireé Brown: 8:20

Okay, what?

Vernon Brown: 8:21

happened in march.

Desireé Brown: 8:21

So in, I was just in my prayer time, regular old day. Nothing spectacular about the day, except for this conversation that I had in my prayer time. In my prayer time I'm minding my business, I'm just thanking God for all the things right. And he says pray for your daughter. And you all who know us know at that point in time we didn't have, we had sons, two, two sons, and so I was kind of like Lord, you talking to me like what, what do you mean? Pray for your daughter? And I thought that was such an odd ask at that time. But I said, all right, my husband would have said you should have said what you mean, god, what you mean what you talk about God but I just said okay and she got.

Vernon Brown: 9:04

She got blind obedience. I got questions. I'm like wait a minute, this ain't adding up.

Desireé Brown: 9:09

I got questions. I usually do have questions.

Vernon Brown: 9:12

I don't know she don't have good, she don't have the right questions. She's like what should I pray for her?

Desireé Brown: 9:20

Lord. Well, that was the crazy part. It was no baby. So at this point in time I said okay, I said what should I pray for? And like there were things that came to mind, I wrote it down. So this is my prayer journal. It's in.

Vernon Brown: 9:33

Actually, it's not in this book, it's in the previous version of this book, um, if you start seeing it floating or glowing, don't mind it, it just does that sometimes and so I started praying.

Desireé Brown: 9:44

Oh look, it's a butterfly. Oh yeah, I started um praying for for her, um, which was wild because at that point she had not even been meanwhile, I'm probably in the bed dreaming about driving a race car probably like not having any idea of any of this stuff going on.

Vernon Brown: 10:01

So I'm a huge advocate of trying to filter your spouse's prayers because you have no idea what's going on in that prayer closet but here's the thing it was an act of obedience, because I had no I.

Desireé Brown: 10:14

It just seemed to have come out of nowhere disobey, disobey, disobey. I'm sorry you're gonna be go ahead. You need to fix it.

Desireé Brown: 10:21

Okay, go ahead so that's march, you praying behind my back I pray behind my back and behind his back and the crazy thing is that I pray behind his back and I felt immediately I was felt guilt just come over me, because I knew at that time he was very adamant. We are two and done. This is no, we're good, we're closing up shop. Matter of fact, I'm about to make my appointment, all that kind of stuff. Like he was very ready to not have any more kids and I told God. I said, lord, I'm so afraid because I just prayed this and I know you listen to me, so I need you to either take this out of me or you need to put it in his heart this is why we need to filter our spouse's prayers you don't need to do that.

Desireé Brown: 11:04

Um, so, in any case, that was March. I didn't mention it to him, I didn't say a thing. It was in my heart. The desire had already always been there, but it was kind of I had been like okay, but two is enough, it's fine, we're good. I don't know how I'm gonna even do three kids, like how, I still don't know. But you know the Lord, he asked, and so I also know he'll provide.

Vernon Brown: 11:26

So, plotting against these, two just going to plot against me together.

Desireé Brown: 11:31

In the Lord. Mm-hmm, okay, I'll be on his team. She was like I'm fine with that, yeah, so that's March.

Vernon Brown: 11:37

That's March Fast forward. April May, june, july. April May, june, july, may, june, july, august, august, five months later, five months of five months later, deceit half truth.

Desireé Brown: 11:49

It come up periodically here and there, here and there, and I was like loris then, like stop it, like take it out of me. This is what we're at the restaurant we were talking about. So restaurant they're having a bridal shower so he says no, no, no, no.

Vernon Brown: 12:02

We gotta set the tone you, you so we're driving to transformation church expecting to have this great move of God. We're having these conversations Give me your hand Sharing our emotions and talking about all of these things and we say, hark, look over there at the star in the east.

Vernon Brown: 12:20

Over the presidential library, and so we go and see the Magi and the three wise men. I'm kidding, we go to the presidential library. He was like, wow, that escalated quickly. We go to the presidential library and so we're seeing all these people and you know me, we're in this conversational mode. I'm like let me earn some husband points by starting this loving conversation. So I'm like love, and my love says what? Yes, yes. I said do you ever regret like not having the whole bridal shower moment with your daughter? Like you know, having that moment and dressing her up and picking out dresses and all of this stuff, and it's like her face was like the cat that got caught with a hand in a cookie jar. The tears start running and I'm like, what did I do?

Desireé Brown: 13:10

what did I do go ahead, miss, guilty, take it from there so it was the craziest thing because I literally just had the thought before we got there on the way at some point and he read me like I didn't read it. I was just trying to have conversation he did not know he read me. He did not know. He found my letters and read each one out loud.

Vernon Brown: 13:31

Shout out to miss hill and, uh, roberta flack, anyway actually it's so fitting because we're four months late, so I'm sorry on that. Lauren hill, time go ahead bless it, bless it.

Desireé Brown: 13:44

Anyway. That's a whole story for another day. But yeah, so that opened up the floodgates and that point I just cracked. I just like everything, just like everything that I've been holding over the last five months, just like I just, I told him everything.

Vernon Brown: 14:00

And I started checking my pockets for, like you know, the little neuralyzer in Men in Black to try to reset time and go back Like can we put this genie back in a bottle? No, okay, all right, I guess I got to deal with this then.

Desireé Brown: 14:11

Yeah, so it was words, it was tears, it was a lot of stuff from one simple question.

Vernon Brown: 14:15

And I couldn't even get away because we were like halfway between Mississippi and Oklahoma.

Desireé Brown: 14:27

So we stuck in the car. Needless to say, there were several conversations that happened over the course of that trip, because we still had to get there. Then we had a couple days in Tulsa and it was just like yeah, and and things kept coming up. And even I think I mentioned that when we were at the church we had this incredible, just, just, spirit filled encounter at the altar and, like we're praying, I'm on the floor, I'm prostrate, like laying down for those who don't know that word, cause, who knows?

Vernon Brown: 14:54

that word Prostrate.

Desireé Brown: 14:57

I'm laying down, okay, and I'm just like completely humbled and submitted before God, and, and I, and this woman came behind me and she started praying, and I don't even fully remember everything that she said. Matter of fact, I don't remember anything she said other than the little girl inside of you, something, something, something. And so one could take that as me being the little girl like my, my former self, or it could be the little girl who's literally growing inside of me at this point. I wasn't pregnant at that time, but that was, um, I mean, it was, it was big and magnificent.

Desireé Brown: 15:36

And so, coming off of that trip, we still were having more conversations, a lot of what ifs, like what if we do this and it's a mother? Boy? That's obviously a possibility. Like what if we do this and something goes wrong? Boy, that's obviously a possibility. Like what if we do this and something goes wrong? Like all of the things, all of the fears, we address them. But my thing was still like, well, god said do this. And I feel like you know he said do it, we should do it. It didn't eliminate any of the fears, fears, but it just there was also some assurance that it was supposed to happen.

Desireé Brown: 16:10

Long story oh, that was a long. This is still a long story. I'm saying long story short, but it's still a long story, fast forward. We ended up deciding, okay, we're gonna do this because I that was my thing I was like I'm not going to go into this without him, like I couldn't, I didn't want to go without you. That was important to me, because who does that? Well, a lot of people do that, but I didn't think that that was appropriate in our marriage to like, use trickery or, to you know, manipulate the situation in some way. Like I wanted you to be on board and when you got on board, it was like it didn't even take long, right? So should I go TMI on them?

Vernon Brown: 16:58

I don't know what you're about to say.

Desireé Brown: 17:00

Birth control.

Vernon Brown: 17:02

I don't know where you're taking that. I don't even know where that is, but go ahead.

Desireé Brown: 17:04

I was on birth control. I got off of the birth control around September and by December I was pregnant with this little person. Yeah, so then there was the. That was your TMI. Yeah, it wasn't that much I cut, you know, it was just I didn't. God has some TMI, but you don't want don't want your TMI on this podcast, no, sir. But anyway that, like it took no time, and literally on December 31st of 2024, that is when I found out that I tested positive for being pregnant, so we went into this new year.

Vernon Brown: 17:44

That could be like a provocative cliffhanger.

Desireé Brown: 17:46

On december 31st I tested positive well, you can cut it how you want to. I'm gonna keep going.

Desireé Brown: 17:55

Oops, I just hit the microphone but, um, so we've known this entire year that we were expecting a child and, of course, when you're expecting a child, there's a lot of excitement, but there's a lot of angst and all of that stuff. For me I get nervous and I just was like God, please, just let the baby be okay, let this be a healthy pregnancy all these different things. And I remember hearing Claire's day she's okay, and this is before we knew the sex of the baby before taking all those tests and whatever.

Desireé Brown: 18:25

But I knew because God told me she's okay. Not only did he assure me that she's okay, but also that she's a she and I was very happy about that. So of course, family and friends that knew at that point, which wasn't many they're like oh you know what do you think, boy or girl? That kind of thing, as you do for most pregnancies. And I was like I mean, y'all can say what you want, we'll say what you will, but it's a girl.

Desireé Brown: 18:50

But I've just been very grateful and I also feel very like it feels like a call, like it feels like it was an ask of God and he just made it happen. It took a few months.

Vernon Brown: 19:04

Without my consent. You don't need your consent.

Desireé Brown: 19:08

I'm just putting that out there. He was like who's lord here, so um, but he and I were on the same page, so just just conspiring against me.

Desireé Brown: 19:17

I don't know if I like this but I'm just so excited to see who she's going to become like, who she is and who she's going to become, and the fact that the Lord was like no, you need this baby, come on Like I need you to chop, chop, get on board it's, I don't know. It feels like a miracle, a modern day miracle and I know people have babies all the time but I just think like when, when you really really think about how this happens, even from a scientific perspective, it is absolutely miraculous, and so to be the bearer of this miracle is just amazing. And she kicks me right now. So she's like yes, mommy, speak on it. Um, so yeah, so we're having a baby. It's a girl. So, talking about the responsibility of yes, though, that was a very long intro.

Vernon Brown: 20:10

Very. I was wondering how you're going to tie it together.

Desireé Brown: 20:13

Well, there's a yes. That happened. There was an ask and there was a yes. Pray for your daughter was the ask. There was a response Okay did so, and then all of these other things transpired from that, and so we're thinking about that's good, gotta preach if we're thinking about, like the responsibility of, yes, I think the first part of it is just from a, from a spiritual perspective is well, first of all, hearing the question yeah yeah, um I, I think I think, hearing the question number one, acknowledging that there are concerns or thing or issues or problems that are in the way too.

Vernon Brown: 21:03

But number three, taking the responsibility of saying yes to the first step and trusting that God will take care of the rest, and in trust maybe it's not trust, maybe it's faith that God will take care of the rest, because you know you may not trust that he's going to do it, you may not have any evidence that he's going to do it, but by just taking the first step and continuing to step forward, even if you can't see where your feet are going, that's the faith that God needs to keep blocking and tackling and moving things out of the way.

Vernon Brown: 21:33

Yeah, and it's interesting because from the moment of yes, immediately after yes, there was fear that came in immediately same, almost the same sentence like yes, oh my god, what yeah, yeah, um, but but I also think that's a nuance to you, because you just might not be crazy enough to recognize you should be afraid when the question comes maybe, so I think most people would have been like wait a minute yeah, and you're like okay, I'll pray well, my question was more like are you talking to the right person?

Desireé Brown: 22:12

like it was so outlandish that I was maybe caught off guard a little bit, like where is this coming from? And I think I asked like are you talking to me? Because you know I have two sons and so, but I knew it came through and I was like well, Abraham and Sarah.

Vernon Brown: 22:32

I am an old man right.

Desireé Brown: 22:36

Um, I mean, that was also a fear too. Like I'm not, I had a birthday too. Y'all it's been so much going on um it's. I am in my last year of my 30s now, and so that was also yes um, there was a lot of those questions too, and like janet did it at 50 she did.

Desireé Brown: 22:57

I'm sure she had a lot of help and she definitely had a lot of money to help her along her way. But we, we, we blessed, but not in that particular manner. Um, so you know, there were immediate concerns. And then just seeing how God like like stair-stepped that thing, every time, the, the, the thought would come up like, oh, it would really be nice to have a baby, a daughter. And then immediately I would shut it down like uh-uh, he said no, my husband's not on board, we cannot do this.

Desireé Brown: 23:31

And God, hearing even that prayer, even that concern, like if you want this to happen, I need you to make it happen. Like I need you to not just make it happen, but I need my husband to be on board, because it would have been another thing for me to be pregnant. And then you like we hadn't had any of these conversations, so he like made ways for a very that was such a very specific question that you asked me. You didn't really know what was behind door number one, but it was such a specific question that it was only God like, all right, it's time, this is the time we're going to talk about this, we're going to put it all on the table and you know all of that stuff. So it was. I guess my point is hearing the questions, the first step, you see, like you said, acknowledging the concerns but letting God work through those things. That's one of the responsibilities.

Vernon Brown: 24:28

So what I think I hear you saying is the how is not really your responsibility? The yes is, and maybe, to be more specific, the how is not. The obedience is yes, and sometimes we take far more ownership than we should and far more responsibility than we should. That's all, whereas it's just your responsibility is to one, be in a position of where you can hear, and two, when you're asked to be obedient, and then let him sign for rest of the checks.

Desireé Brown: 25:06

That's correct. One of my favorites, dr Charles Stanley, would say obey God and leave all the consequences to him, and he would say that all the time. That was one of his many teaching principles. But it has proven correct over and over and over again that when you do obey God, does he like oh, this mountain. Oh, you think it's in the way, cool, no problem, it's gone just like that. Or oh, I, I got your, I'm guiding you around it above it, you know, whatever, like I got you, don't even worry about it, that's nothing to me. And so I think that that was. I don't think that was my intent, but it was. But obviously my heart was there to be like okay, whatever you say, lord, that's what I'll do.

Desireé Brown: 26:01

But there's been many women or at least a few written about in the Bible that we know of, and then I'm sure just outside of the Bible has happened time and time again where a baby was brought upon, a woman, like it wasn't just like oh, yeah, I've been thinking about having a baby and let's do this thing, but like there were. There were a few instances biblically where somebody was minding their own business and then, yeah, like you got, this time next year you're gonna have a baby and it is so. That's so interesting. I never even put that together, but, um, but I can say, oh, it happened to me now, so we're. I'm just really like who is this? Who is this person where he had to come and say I need you to do this for me. Wow, yeah, other responsibilities of yes. Do you have any other things that we can bring out of this particular example that we need to bring up?

Vernon Brown: 27:04

I think. I think from a from a my perspective and point of view, I think the responsibility of yes is not just saying like, okay, she had this dream or whatever this experience, now we're in it. Like, if you're going to say yes, then say yes. And what that looks like for supporting spouses, no matter what the assignment, task or whatever it is looks like, is to, if you're going to say yes, say yes and don't half butt it or don't get drug along, but it's almost.

Vernon Brown: 27:46

Disobedience is never better, but it would probably be better in the long run for you to say no to something that you're not willing to do than for you to say yes to something that you're not willing to do. Does that make sense? Yeah, because I think a lot of times we in relationships say yes to things that you know we either don't think is going to work, or we think that it's just going to be a fad or a trend, or hey, they'll, they'll get over this. And we say yes. But when the rubber meets the road and this becomes a lifestyle, and you know it's actually real, you now hung out here, yeah, and you got to fix your face for the camera. That's actually real. You now hung out here and you got to fix your face for the camera. That's for sure that go off the rails sometimes and, recognizing that it's not going to be all bad, it's not going to be all good, but you're in it for the ride if that makes sense.

Desireé Brown: 28:49

Does that make sense? Yeah?

Vernon Brown: 28:50

It's probably a horrible example to align with a child.

Desireé Brown: 28:54

No, I think it's absolutely it makes, especially in light of all that has transpired over the last few months, where things got really uncomfortable for a minute and and even still we're still riding some of these things out.

Desireé Brown: 29:07

Which God is going to work these things out, and so we will be able to talk about it in the podcast at a later date, but it it got a little. It got a little tight around the collar for in a few ways, um, and so it's like I guess it's important I'm glad you brought that up because it's important to say that it hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies the entire time. Like I was sicker this pregnancy than I have been before. I um have dealt with some like physical not just like feeling sick, but also like physical pain with this pregnancy that would we could not have anticipated there's just been just some. There's been some financial things that have come up over the last few months, and so it's just been like for context, y'all we got, we got a few cars and like like all of them got something going on.

Desireé Brown: 30:12

Like all of them, and not that we we're not like stupid, rich or anything, but what we have, we're grateful for it. We got at least one that drives, but it don't have air condition and it's Mississippi heat, and so there's that. So, um, we, we have just been, we've been been walking through all of this and it's impacted you. You could have thrown it in my face and been like, well, you wanted this, you, you wanted this child, you asked for this child, you prayed for this child and now you got to deal with your sickness and you got to deal with this pain and all of that stuff you could have. That could have easily been a something to throw back, because you kind of got, you got pulled along, as opposed to you coming up with the idea yeah and um, so I'm grateful that you didn't do that and I think that goes back to the responsibility portion.

Vernon Brown: 31:10

Like you, you can't. So um dion um just had his health issues with bladder cancer or whatever.

Vernon Brown: 31:23

And one of the things that he said that I thought was really astute was he was like I never said why me, why did I get cancer? Because if I said why did I get cancer, then I also have to say why did I get chosen to be a Hall of Famer? Or why did you give me all of these God-given abilities? Or why have you given me the opportunity to work with so many amazing people? And so the responsibility of yes is not just when it's convenient or when it's in, when it's your idea or what you want, but if you're going to be in it, you got to be in it. And recognizing that all of these things work together and no matter what your, no matter what your relationship with God is at any particular time, you have to recognize well, you don't have to, but it would be wise for you to recognize that in many of these situations, you've been chosen or picked for this. And so for even for me, who had no idea what you were talking about and just thought I was having a conversation, like in that time and I don't know cause I waffle so much, but I probably felt like really far away from God, but in that same moment he's like telling me what to say, and so I think it's like a cool moment to be, to, to, to recognize in hindsight that, even if you feel far like he's still there with you because he's never left you and he lives inside of your us but sometimes we desire for his hand to be more visible or evident or tangible in our lives, and I think that part of God being a great father is giving you what you need when you need it, and part of that is just showing up, sometimes in spite of you, to give you breadcrumbs or give you signs or give you wonders that no, we still rocking this thing on out and I'm still riding with you yeah, that's really good, I mean, and also just like as parents ourselves, we realize we don't tell our kids like all of the things yeah sometimes we're just like no, just I need you, like I don't, it's not even I need you here.

Desireé Brown: 33:39

It's like we're just already there and they, they know. Then they recognize, like, why all these other things had to happen, why you had to get dressed, why you had to put your shoes on, why you had to get in the car. And, um, our kids are good at asking where are we going? But we're just like them when are we going?

Vernon Brown: 33:59

What's going?

Desireé Brown: 34:00

on. Why are we, why do we have to do this? Um, God can handle those questions and sometimes he's silent in those, in responding to those things Cause he's like I really don't have to answer you, Same way we are with our kids. I really don't have to answer you, I just just know that I love you and I need you to trust me.

Vernon Brown: 34:18

And I think that I don't have to answer you isn't always so legalistic and mean. Like. Sometimes we're like you don't have to answer me because you're just like this big God dude. But also I don't have to answer you because we've been through this before, like especially when our kids are like hey, we're so hungry, we're going to die. Can you feed?

Desireé Brown: 34:36

us.

Vernon Brown: 34:36

It's like, bro first of all, I'm looking at you you're not about to die but second of all, we go through this all the time, and I think something that a lot of us can do better is setting up those pillars or those monuments of where God's shown up before. I was talking to Trent and.

Vernon Brown: 34:54

I didn't tell you about this. You asked me about this and I sidestepped it. But one of the things we were talking about is, just like in these difficult times when stuff seems to be like hitting the fan and all of those things like remembering, even in the midst of this, where God's come through and God's been there for you, and I think we can always do a better job of remembering those things. So so the reason why I said that was because even in the midst of this, like that experience, although I was a pawn in that conversation, I would rather be a pawn being touched and moved by God than to not be in the equation at all. And so to me, that's a monument, or a pillar, if you will, of God using, I guess, me for us and all of that.

Vernon Brown: 35:39

So, that should be something that's written down. It's still not written down quite frankly, and all of that. So that should be something that's written down.

Desireé Brown: 35:43

It's still not written down quite frankly, but, um, I need to write that down as maybe I need to like make up my own little book of just stuff to remember I thought about that because you know they have rocks in the bible, like they set up stone monuments and I don't think that maybe that's not the way, but like perhaps there can be like a version of that, like where you have have a stone and on it is written, like you put the testimony there and you just like put it in a place where you know. I think that's a really good idea.

Vernon Brown: 36:12

We can do something like that and put it like in a visible place, like a little board, like just to have sticky notes on there that just say all of this stuff that God's done, because it's so easy in the midst of your problems to forget oh, it's so easy, yeah like and I told you like, um, when I was in here one night setting up for an event or something and I was fussing at God and he was just like, why is that funny?

Desireé Brown: 36:36

what does that even look like?

Vernon Brown: 36:37

but okay, it looks very animated, but he was just like why would I give you this whole building or this, what I've given you, and not take care of you? And so stuff like that are things that we should hold more tightly onto, but we allow the disruptions and the distractions of life to kind of push those things down and we're aware of them still, but it's like no, that should be a that we hold on to. Um, for god to take time out of his day to be like hey, you're struggling, you're crashing and burning. Right now.

Desireé Brown: 37:07

Let me give you something to keep you going yeah, and and I think that even, I think, even with this as as scary as it was, podcast the, the, the baby, oh, um, even the podcast.

Vernon Brown: 37:20

We told them their name.

Desireé Brown: 37:22

No, do you want to? You can do the big reveal.

Vernon Brown: 37:24

No, you can. You came up with it, didn't you?

Desireé Brown: 37:27

It was a joint effort.

Vernon Brown: 37:29

Yeah, because you had like Vernita and I want you to keep going.

Desireé Brown: 37:34

I want you to keep going.

Vernon Brown: 37:36

Vernificent.

Desireé Brown: 37:39

And everybody who watches.

Vernon Brown: 37:40

Vernazing.

Desireé Brown: 37:43

Everyone who's watching this knows exactly who came up with those names our baby girl's name is okay, go ahead. Her name is Christina Michelle. Christina Michelle is a name of it's pretty significant. Not pretty significant, it's significant, I think, in the sense of its meaning, I think in the sense of just even how we came to it. Should I go into that? I would just leave it there.

Vernon Brown: 38:12

Leave it there. We got a lot of episodes to catch up on.

Desireé Brown: 38:14

We do, but Christina Michelle Brown is her name and so I guess we'll introduce maybe her at some point. That'd be so fun. Well, we introduced the other kids, so like there's that no playing favorites yeah, so we have to figure that out. But yeah, that's, that's her name, so very, very happy to meet christina. I can have a podcast with my boys oh that, oh my gosh, that would be awesome. Okay, there's, I'm fear, there's fear. My first thought is like what are they gonna say?

Desireé Brown: 38:48

aaron's just gonna go, he's gonna go, you're gonna need a mute button for aaron but definitely because he's gonna go, are you?

Vernon Brown: 38:55

so actually yeah they're really funny.

Desireé Brown: 38:59

so, yeah, maybe we'll do that at some point, that's going to be so fun Next few weeks, months, maybe I'm excited, but what was I saying? I forgot what we were talking. I don't even remember what we were talking about?

Vernon Brown: 39:12

I don't know either.

Desireé Brown: 39:14

But I think you did bring up another responsibility of yes is remembering what god did before yes remembering what god did before, like having whether it's whether you rely on your memory or you set up something tangible to remember what god has done. That is, I think, paramount um for faith and for growth of faith, because sometimes God asks us to do hard things and, yeah, we can be like I do not feel equipped for this. I did not feel equipped for this. I did not feel equipped to be the mother of a daughter. I know people might think that sounds crazy, but like I thought that I think I just think it requires a different type of parenting, a different type of showing up, a different type of you got to move a little differently with a girl, obviously, being a parent, like there's things that you need to do, but I feel like, as a, as a woman, parenting a girl who is growing into a woman, like there's, like that's heavy, there's a huge responsibility for that, in my opinion. And so I just was like, well, I don't think I qualify for this role.

Desireé Brown: 40:37

But he's like, no, I need you for this. And I'm like, okay, well, you have to walk with me. And I've been praying ever since for for us to be prepared, us to be prepared, but for me to also be prepared and to have wisdom and discernment and guidance and just I'm trusting God to. I'm trusting God to stair step me, like, just even if it's a little breadcrumb here, a little breadcrumb here, whatever, but just like he's done it with my boys, he's doing it with my boys. I know he'll do it with our daughter too. So any other things we want to cover in this?

Desireé Brown: 41:17

I think that was a lot yeah, I don't even know how long this one is.

Vernon Brown: 41:21

This is we're at 43 minutes, that's actually not bad probably like 40 after we cut out some of the stuff in the beginning yeah, it's not, that's really not bad.

Desireé Brown: 41:30

But, um, yeah, there's responsibility of yes and this is just one way, because god has asked us to do some really different things. Um, we always talk about moving to mississippi, starting our businesses, like getting married. We even talk about moving to mississippi, starting our businesses like getting married. We even talk about that in as much detail as we could like there's there's been several. I'm like I'm, I need you to just accepting your call and getting ordained and all of that stuff, and he stretches us. But I think the growth that we've experienced it hasn't been without its downs. It's definitely been a journey, but God has been with us every single time and so I can rely and trust and know that God is with us in this too, and so I'm really I don't know.

Desireé Brown: 42:32

I have a lot of peace in okay All right, lord, we're.

Vernon Brown: 42:34

We're going wherever you're taking this.

Desireé Brown: 42:36

Oh cool, All right. Um, no, go ahead.

Vernon Brown: 42:38

Well, thank you so much for joining us after this four-month hiatus. Yeah, with conversations at the well, hopefully you got something out of this. Hopefully, no matter what you're going through in your life, what's being asked of you, what you think is being asked of you, you will not only say yes, you will not only be obedient, but you will also recognize the responsibility of yes and pass your test or go through whatever it is. That you're going through with flying colors, and we want to hear about it too. So drop it in the comments. That you're going through with flying colors, and we want to hear about it too. So drop it in the comments. What you're going through, what changes are happening in your life. Y'all never comment when we tell you to comment, but I'm gonna still keep asking until somebody comments. But we will see you next time on Conversations at the Well.

Desireé Brown: 43:15

All right, y'all Bye.